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[US Promotion] I would like to celebrate Thanksgiving by gifting you all books!
UPDATE: More books added by
siffis and
West1234567890 further down
If are late coming across this post then do not worry you can still message me your email for a book.
To celebrate my day off today and Thanksgiving tomorrow I would like to gift my audiobooks.
In order to recieve a
free audiobook gift just message me
any title (below) along with your
email address. If you have
not recieved a gift before then you will get the audiobook for free.
More details here and
here. I am in the US market (but I hear from Canada and UK that it still works).
Books crossed out are not available.
TITLE - AUTHOR (Ordered by author)
- 21 Days of Meditation - Aaptiv
- 5K Training - Aaptiv
- What Happens Next? Conversations from MARS - Adam Savage
- You Ought to Know Adam Wade - Adam Wade
- The Fall of Carthage: The Punic Wars 265-146BC - Adrian Goldsworthy
- Children of Time - Adrian Tchaikovsky
- Andrea Vernon and the Corporation for UltraHuman Protection - Alexander C. Kane
- The Ten Thousand Doors of January - Alix E. Harrow
- The Story of Dr. Seuss: Theodore, Ted, Geisel Who? The Story of How Dr. Seuss Grew. - Amba Brown
- You Have Arrived at Your Destination: Forward - Amor Towles
- A Massacre in Mexico: The True Story Behind the Missing 43 Students - Anabel Hernandez , John Washington - translator
- How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps - Andrew Rowe
- Randomize: Forward - Andy Weir
- Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook - Anthony Bourdain
- Chaos Monkeys - Revised Edition: Obscene Fortune and Random Failure in Silicon Valley - Antonio Garcia Martinez
- Goodnight Smartphone - Arianna Huffington
- Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle , Stephen Fry - introductions
- Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons - Ashli St. Armant
- The Home Front: Life in America During World War II - Dan Gediman , Martha C. Little
- Cut and Run: A Light-Hearted Dark Comedy - Ben Acker , Ben Blacker
- A Grown-Up Guide to Dinosaurs: An Audible Original - Ben Garrod
- The Tao of Pooh - Benjamin Hoff
- Finding Tess: A Mother’s Search for Answers in a Dopesick America - Beth Macy
- Bill Bryson's Appliance of Science - Bill Bryson
- The Lost Continent: Travels In Small Town America - Bill Bryson
- Billy Kelly: This Is a Family Show! - Billy Kelly
- The History of Ancient Egypt - Bob Brier]
- Rage - Bob Woodward
- Starsight - Brandon Sanderson
- Skyward - Brandon Sanderson
- Beezer - Brandon T. Snider
- The Book on Rental Property Investing: How to Create Wealth and Passive Income Through Smart Buy & Hold Real Estate Investing - Brandon Turner
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are - Brené Brown - Algorithms to Live The Computer Science of Human Decisions - Brian Christian , Tom Griffiths
- That Hideous Strength: Ransom Trilogy, Book 3 - C.S. Lewis
- Perelandra: Ransom Trilogy, Book 2 - C.S. Lewis
- Cosmos: A Personal Voyage - Carl Sagan
- The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark - Carl Sagan
- Life Ever After - Carla Grauls
- Everything is Not What It Seems: The Journey to Quantum Gravity - Carlo Rovelli , Simon Carnell - translator , Erica Segre - translator
- How to Build Meaningful Relationships Through Conversation - Carol Ann Lloyd]
- El Norte: The Epic and Forgotten Story of Hispanic North America - Carrie Gibson
- The Flying Flamingo Sisters - Carrie Seim
- Press Pause: A Young Person's Guide to Managing Life's Challenges - Catherine Singer
- Cesar Millan's Guide to Bringing Home a Shelter Dog - Cesar Millan
- Cesar Millan's Guide to Audiobooks for Dogs - Cesar Millan
- The Good Nurse: A True Story of Medicine, Madness, and Murder - Charles Graeber
- Second Skin: Audible Original Novella - Christian White
- Eldest: The Inheritance Cycle, Book 2 - Christopher Paolini
- The Space Race: An Audible Original - Colin Brake , Patrick Chapman , Richard Hollingham , Richard Kurti , Sue Nelson , Helen Quigley , Andrew Mark Sewell
- Bluebird Memories: A Journey Through Lyrics & Life - Common , Awoye Timpo , NSangou Njikam
- Cat Tale: The Wild, Weird Battle to Save the Florida Panther - Craig Pittman
- The Dead Drink First - Dale Maharidge
- House of Teeth - Dan Jolley
- Dan Rather: Stories of a Lifetime - Dan Rather
- How to Hide an Empire: A History of the Greater United States - Daniel Immerwahr
- The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition - Daniel N. Robinson]
- My Lost Family: An Audible Original - Danny Ben-Moshe , Dasha Lisitsina
- Body of Proof: An Audible Original - Darrell Brown , Sophie Ellis
- Sum: Tales from the Afterlives - David Eagleman
- Exploring Metaphysics - David K. Johnson]
- Alone with the Stars - David R. Gillham
- The Pragmatic Programmer: 20th Anniversary Edition, 2nd Edition: Your Journey to Mastery - David Thomas , Andrew Hunt
- The Girls of Atomic City: The Untold Story of the Women Who Helped Win World War II - Denise Kiernan
- Heaven's River: Bobiverse, Book 4 - Dennis E. Taylor
- All These Worlds: Bobiverse, Book 3 - Dennis E. Taylor
- For We Are Many: Bobiverse, Book 2 - Dennis E. Taylor
- We Are Legion (We Are Bob): Bobiverse, Book 1 - Dennis E. Taylor
- Metro 2033 - Dmitry Glukhovsky
- The Theory of Everything: The Quest to Explain All Reality - Don Lincoln]
- Mostly Harmless - Douglas Adams
- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 2 - Douglas Adams
- So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish - Douglas Adams
- Life, the Universe, and Everything: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 3 - Douglas Adams
- The Case of the Damaged Detective: 5-Minute Sherlock, Book 1 - Drew Hayes
- Forging Hephaestus: Villains' Code Series, Book 1 - Drew Hayes
- I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life - Ed Yong
- Mythology - Edith Hamilton
- Musashi - Eiji Yoshikawa , Charles S. Terry - translator
- Hunting LeRoux: The Inside Story of the DEA Takedown of a Criminal Genius and His Empire - Elaine Shannon
- The Science of Sci-Fi: From Warp Speed to Interstellar Travel - Erin Macdonald]
- Junkyard Cats: Shining Smith, Book 1 - Faith Hunter
- The Golden Orchard - Flora Ahn
- The 3-Day Effect - Florence Williams
- Catch Me If You Can - Frank W. Abagnale , Stan Redding
- The Panama Papers: How the World's Rich and Powerful Hide Their Money - Frederik Obermaier , Bastian Obermayer
- The American Civil War - Gary W. Gallagher]
- Failure Is Not an Option: Mission Control from Mercury to Apollo 13 and Beyond - Gene Kranz
- The Creative Thinker's Toolkit - Gerard Puccio]
- Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body's Most Underrated Organ - Giulia Enders
- Burr: A Novel (Narratives of Empire, Book 1) - Gore Vidal
- The Getaway - Greer Hendricks , Sarah Pekkanen
- The Minuteman - Greg Donahue
- Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir - H. Jon Benjamin
- The Beautiful Brain: An Audible Original - Hana Walker-Brown
- A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor: A Novel - Hank Green
- Bella Bella - Harvey Fierstein
- The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World's Happiest Country - Helen Russell
- The Iliad: A New Translation by Caroline Alexander - Homer , Caroline Alexander - translator
- H.P. Lovecraft: The Complete Omnibus Collection, Volume I: 1917-1926 - Howard Phillips Lovecraft , Finn J.D. John
- Hell's Angels: A Strange and Terrible Saga - Hunter S. Thompson
- Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson
- Casino Royale: James Bond, Book 1 - Ian Fleming
- I, Robot - Isaac Asimov
- Malcolm and Me - Ishmael Reed
- Peter Pan: An Audible Original Drama - J. M. Barrie
- Tell Me Lies - J. P. Pomare
- The Return of the King: Book Three in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J. R. R. Tolkien
- The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J. R. R. Tolkien
- The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
- The Children of Hurin - J. R. R. Tolkien
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Book 2 - J.K. Rowling
- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1 - J.K. Rowling
- The Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K. Rowling
- The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over - Jack Schafer PhD , Ph.D. Marvin Karlins Ph.D.
- Midnight Son - James Dommek Jr. , Josephine Holtzman , Isaac Kestenbaum
- The Absolute Brightness of Leonard Pelkey - James Lecesne
- Break Shot: My First 21 Years: James Taylor - James Taylor
- Forget Nothing - Jason Anspach , Michelle C. Meyers
- The Woman Who Smashed Codes: A True Story of Love, Spies, and the Unlikely Heroine who Outwitted America's Enemies - Jason Fagone
- Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and Peoples Temple - Jeff Guinn
- 1066: The Year That Changed Everything - Jennifer Paxton]
- Flux - Jeremy Robinson
- Space Force - Jeremy Robinson
- Infinite - Jeremy Robinson
- When You Finish Saving the World - Jesse Eisenberg
- The Mystwick School of Musicraft - Jessica Khoury
- Call Me God: The Untold Story of the DC Sniper Investigation - Jim Clemente , Tim Clemente , Peter McDonnell
- The Wisdom of Wolves: Lessons from the Sawtooth Pack - Jim Dutcher , Jamie Dutcher , James Manfull - contributor , Marc Bekoff - foreword PhD
- Escape from Virtual Island: An Audio Comedy - John Lutz
- The Men Who Stare at Goats - Jon Ronson
- So You've Been Publicly Shamed - Jon Ronson
- Frank: The True Story that Inspired the Movie - Jon Ronson
- 438 Days: An Extraordinary True Story of Survival at Sea - Jonathan Franklin
- Carmilla - Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu
- Stuff You Should Know: An Incomplete Compendium of Mostly Interesting Things - Josh Clark , Chuck Bryant
- Vroom Vroom - Josh Koenigsberg
- King of Sting: The Story of Australian Conman Peter Foster: An Audible Original - Justin Armsden , Bronwen Reid , Hamish Macdonald
- American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer - Kai Bird , Martin J. Sherwin
- You Can Thank Me Later: A Novella - Kelly Harms
- The Vikings - Kenneth W. Harl]
- Building a Better Vocabulary - Kevin Flanigan]
- More Bedtime Stories for Cynics - Kirsten Kearse , Gretchen Enders , Aparna Nancherla , Cirocco Dunlap , Dave Hill
- The Math of Life and Death - Kit Yates
- Oz. The Complete Collection - L. Frank Baum
- A Murder of Manatees: The Further Adventures of Tom Stranger, Interdimensional Insurance Agent - Larry Correia
- The Half-Life of Marie Curie - Lauren Gunderson
- Interview with the Robot - Lee Bacon
- The Messengers - Lindsay Joelle
- African-American Athletes Who Made History - Louis Moore]
- The Real Sherlock: An Audible Original - Lucinda Hawksley
- The Devil's Highway: A True Story - Luis Alberto Urrea
- It Burns: The Scandal-Plagued Race to Breed the World’s Hottest Chilli, An Audible Original - Marc Fennell
- Wizard: The Life and Times of Nikola Tesla: Biography of a Genius - Marc J. Seifer
- The Handmaid's Tale: Special Edition - Margaret Atwood , Valerie Martin - essay
- Buried Deep - Margot Hunt
- Black Hawk Down - Mark Bowden
- How to Win at the Sport of Business: If I Can Do It, You Can Do It - Mark Cuban
- Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
- Tinaca Jones - Matt Boren
- Phreaks - Matthew Derby
- Pont Neuf - Max Byrd
- Find Another Dream - Maysoon Zayid
- One Minute to Midnight: Kennedy, Khrushchev, and Castro on the Brink of Nuclear War - Michael Dobbs
- The Entrepreneur's Toolkit - Michael Goldsby]
- The Fifth Risk - Michael Lewis
- Dear Reader: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il - Michael Malice
- Caffeine: How Caffeine Created the Modern World - Michael Pollan
- I'll Be Gone in the Dark: One Woman's Obsessive Search for the Golden State Killer - Michelle McNamara
- Physics of the Future: How Science Will Shape Human Destiny and Our Daily Lives by the Year 2100 - Michio Kaku
- The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad - Mike Birbiglia , J. Hope Stein
- Even Tree Nymphs Get the Blues - Molly Harper
- Motivational Runs: 3 audio-guided run stories and 6 audio-guided Olympic Interval runs - MoveWith
- Half Marathon Training Part 2: To the Finish Line: 6 week training plan with 22 audio-guided runs - MoveWith
- Half Marathon Training Part 1: Build Up Your Pace + Endurance: 6 week training plan with 22 audio-guided runs - MoveWith
- Emergency Skin: Forward - N. K. Jemisin
- Silverswift - Natalie Lloyd
- The Signal and the Noise: Why So Many Predictions Fail - but Some Don't - Nate Silver
- Good Omens - Neil Gaiman , Terry Pratchett
- Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society - Nicholas A. Christakis
- American Kingpin: The Epic Hunt for the Criminal Mastermind Behind the Silk Road - Nick Bilton
- Superintelligence: Paths, Dangers, Strategies - Nick Bostrom
- Based on a True Story: A Memoir - Norm Macdonald
- Leven Thumps and the Eyes of the Want: Leven Thumps, #3 - Obert Skye
- Leven Thumps and the Wrath of Ezra: Leven Thumps, #4 - Obert Skye
- Leven Thumps and the Ruins of Alder: Leven Thumps, #5 - Obert Skye
- Adulthood Rites: Xenogenesis, Book 2 - Octavia E. Butler
- Dawn: Xenogenesis, Book 1 - Octavia E. Butler
- Wild Seed - Octavia E. Butler
- Kindred - Octavia E. Butler
- The Life and Times of Prince Albert - Patrick Allitt]
- The Name of the Wind: Kingkiller Chronicle, Book 1 - Patrick Rothfuss
- Thinking about Cybersecurity: From Cyber Crime to Cyber Warfare - Paul Rosenzweig]
- Into the Water: A Novel - Paula Hawkins
- The Ends of the World: Volcanic Apocalypses, Lethal Oceans, and Our Quest to Understand Earth's Past Mass Extinctions - Peter Brannen
- Terminus - Peter Clines
- The Fold - Peter Clines
- 14 - Peter Clines
- Other Minds: The Octopus, the Sea, and the Deep Origins of Consciousness - Peter Godfrey-Smith
- Norco '80: The True Story of the Most Spectacular Bank Robbery in American History - Peter Houlahan
- Harry Potter: A History of Magic: An Audio Documentary - Pottermore Publishing , Ben Davies
- How the Stock Market Works - Ramon P. DeGennaro]
- How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real-World Problems - Randall Munroe
- The October Country - Ray Bradbury
- The Selfish Gene - Richard Dawkins
- The Making of the Atomic Bomb: 25th Anniversary Edition - Richard Rhodes
- The Other Side of History: Daily Life in the Ancient World - Robert Garland]
- Treasure Island: An Audible Original Drama - Robert Louis Stevenson , Marty Ross - adaptation
- Swan Song - Robert R. McCammon
- The Mueller Report: The Findings of the Special Counsel Investigation - Robert S. Mueller III , Special Counsel's Office U.S. Department of Justice
- Catch and Kill: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators - Ronan Farrow
- Once More upon a Time: A Novella - Roshani Chokshi
- Bind, Torture, Kill: The Inside Story of BTK, the Serial Killer Next Door - Roy Wenzl , Tim Potter , L. Kelly , Hurst Laviana
- Elizabeth II: Life of a Monarch: An Audible Original - Ruth Cowen
- The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements - Sam Kean
- Bad Luck Charlie: The Dragon Mage, Book 1 - Scott Baron
- Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World - Scott McCormick
- Everybody Lies: Big Data, New Data, and What the Internet Can Tell Us About Who We Really Are - Seth Stephens-Davidowitz , Steven Pinker - foreword
- Sea Wall / A Life - Simon Stephens , Nick Payne
- Carnival Row: Tangle in the Dark - Stephanie K. Smith
- D-Day: June 6, 1944: The Climactic Battle of WW II - Stephen E. Ambrose
- The Stand - Stephen King
- The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs: A New History of a Lost World - Steve Brusatte
- Foreverywhere - Steve Burns , Steven Drozd , Gabe Soria
- The Skeptics' Guide to the Universe: How to Know What's Really Real in a World Increasingly Full of Fake - Steven Novella , Bob Novella - contributor , Cara Santa Maria - contributor , Jay Novella - contributor , Evan Bernstein - contributor
- Your Deceptive Mind: A Scientific Guide to Critical Thinking Skills - Steven Novella]
- The Plant Paradox: The Hidden Dangers in "Healthy" Foods That Cause Disease and Weight Gain - Steven R. Gundry MD
- My Dad the Spy - Stewart Copeland
- The Age of Living Machines: How the Convergence of Biology and Engineering Will Build the Next Technology Revolution - Susan Hockfield
Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett - History's Great Military Blunders and the Lessons They Teach - The Great Courses , Gregory S. Aldrete
- Great Mythologies of the World - The Great Courses , Grant L. Voth , Julius H. Bailey , Kathryn McClymond , Robert André LaFleur
- This American Life - This American Life
- Writing Creative Nonfiction - Tilar J J. Mazzeo]
- The Man Who Knew the Way to the Moon - Todd Zwillich
- The Hunt for Red October: A Jack Ryan Novel - Tom Clancy
- The Chris Farley Show: A Biography in Three Acts - Tom Farley , Tanner Colby
- A Crazy Inheritance: Ghostsitter 1 - Tommy Krappweis
- Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood - Trevor Noah
- Thicker than Water - Tyler Shultz
- The Year 1000: When Explorers Connected the World - and Globalization Began - Valerie Hansen
- Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders - Vincent Bugliosi , Curt Gentry
- SmartLess - Will Arnett Jason Bateman Sean Hayes
- Climbing with Mollie - William Finnegan
- Alien III: An Audible Original Drama - William Gibson
- Gump & Co. - Winston Groom
- Life of Pi - Yann Martel
siffis has generously offered to include his collection. If you like any of the books below then message directly.
- World War Z: The Complete Edition - Max Brooks
- Ready Player One - Ernest Cline
- Ready Player Two - Ernest Cline
- Halo: Shadows of Reach - Troy Denning
- The Sandman - Neil Gaiman
- The Ickabog - J.K. Rowling
- The Last Tribe - Brad Manuel
- Halo Grassland - Karen Traviss
- Halo Evolutions
- Halo Fractures
- Halo: Mortal Dictata - Karen Traviss
- Halo: The Thursday War - Karen Traviss
- Norse Mythology - Neil Gaiman
- Firefly: Big Damn Hero - Jame Lovegrove
- After it Happened - Devron C Ford
- Stranger Things: Suspicious Minds - Gwenda Bond
- Blade Runner - Phillip K Dick
- Hell Divers 1
- Hell Divers 2: Ghosts
- God of War - J.M. Barlog
- The Time of Contempt - Andrzej Sapkowski
- Blood of Elves - Andrzej Sapkowski
- Solar Storms - Nicholas Sansbury
- Planetside - Michael Mammay
- Season of Storms - Andrzej Sapkowski
- Dark Operator - Doc Spears
- How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps - Andrew Rowe
- Tin Mans- A Galaxys Edge Prequel
- Black Ops
- Zero Hour
- Artemis
- Miss Peregrines Home for Peculiar Children
- Fear the Sky
- Galaxys Edge
- The Tale of Beedle the Bard
- Halo: The Cole Protocol
- Halo: The Fall of Reach
- Halo: First Strike
- Halo: The Flood
- Columbus Day
- We Are Legion (We Are Bob)
- The Singularity Trap
- Children of Time
- The Martian
- Halo Battle Born
- Halo Battle Born: Meridian Divide
- Sains Testimony
- The Best of Us
- Halo: Oblivion
- Permanent Record
- Alita : Battle Angel Iron City
- Halo: Smoke and Shadow
- Halo: Renegades
- Halo: Legacy of Onyx
- Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
- Halo: Silent Storm
- Halo: Bad Blood
- Halo: New Blood
- Halo: Retribution
- Armada
- Cast Under an Alien Sun
- Sherlock Holmes
- Pandemic
- Halo: Envoy
- Last Light
- The Scorch Trials
- Fifty Shades of Grey
- The Maze Runner
- The Death Cure
- The Kill Order
- The Magicians
- Warm Bodies
- Path of Destruction
- Twas the Night Before Christmas
- The Hobbit
- Peter & Max
- Brisingr
- Beautiful Creatures
- Beautiful Darkness
- Eldest
- Eragon
- Mockingjay
- Catching Fire
- The Hunger Games
- Solaris
- Star Wars: The Old Republic: Deceived
- Bossypants
- A Game of Thrones
- Water for Elephants
- -Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
- Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II
- I Am Legend
- Star Wars: The Old Republic Fatal Alliance
- Magyk
- The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
- Martin the Warrior
- Halo Contact Harvest
- Halo: Ghosts of Onyx
West1234567890 [Also added additional books below](
https://www.reddit.com/audible/comments/k0s76n/us_promotion_i_would_like_to_celebrate/gdlwylu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3).
- Mycroft and Sherlock - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar , Anna Waterhouse
- Jurassic Park: A Novel - Michael Crichton
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Book 3 - J.K. Rowling
- Famous Romans - J. Rufus Fears]
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Book 2 - J.K. Rowling
- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Book 1 - J.K. Rowling
- The Spy and the Traitor: The Greatest Espionage Story of the Cold War - Ben Macintyre
- America's Founding Fathers - Allen C. Guelzo]
- The Modern Intellectual Tradition: From Descartes to Derrida - Lawrence Cahoone]
- Elantris - Brandon Sanderson
- Boy's Life - Robert R. McCammon
- Scientific Secrets for Raising Kids Who Thrive - Peter M. Vishton]
- The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark - Carl Sagan
- The Story of Medieval England: From King Arthur to the Tudor Conquest - Jennifer Paxton]
- Peace Talks: Dresden Files, Book 16 - Jim Butcher
- Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration - Ed Catmull , Amy Wallace
- The Things They Carried - Tim O'Brien
- A Little Life: A Novel - Hanya Yanagihara
- Gone with the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
- The Two Towers: Book Two in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J. R. R. Tolkien
- The Wandering Inn: Volume 1 - Pirate Aba](NaN debugger eval code:1:40
- The Fellowship of the Ring: Book One in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J. R. R. Tolkien
- Skyward - Brandon Sanderson
- Napoleon Hill's Outwitting the Devil: The Secret to Freedom and Success - Napoleon Hill , Sharon Lechter (editor)
- East of Eden - John Steinbeck
- The Hero of Ages: Mistborn, Book 3 - Brandon Sanderson
- Mythos - Stephen Fry
- The Messengers - Lindsay Joelle
- The Science of Sci-Fi: From Warp Speed to Interstellar Travel - Erin Macdonald]
- SPQR: A History of Ancient Rome - Mary Beard
- 33 Strategies of War - Robert Greene
- Einstein's Relativity and the Quantum Revolution: Modern Physics for Non-Scientists, 2nd Edition - Richard Wolfson]
- Sufficiently Advanced Magic: Arcane Ascension, Book 1 - Andrew Rowe
- Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don't Know - Malcolm Gladwell
- Your Deceptive Mind: A Scientific Guide to Critical Thinking Skills - Steven Novella]
- The Demon Next Door - Bryan Burrough
- Ancient Mythology: An Extensive Guide to the Gods, Heroes, Worship, Rituals and Beliefs of Ancient Myths - Bernard Hayes , Hasty History
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
- Brief Cases - Jim Butcher
- Medical School for Everyone: Emergency Medicine - Roy Benaroch]
- Medical School for Everyone: Grand Rounds Cases - Roy Benaroch]
- The American Civil War - Gary W. Gallagher]
- Masters of War: History's Greatest Strategic Thinkers - Andrew R. Wilson]
- Dante's Divine Comedy - The Great Courses , Ronald B. Herzman , William R. Cook
- English Grammar Boot Camp - Anne Curzan]
- Building a Better Vocabulary - Kevin Flanigan]
- Practicing Mindfulness: An Introduction to Meditation - Mark W. Muesse]
- When Violence Is the Answer: Learning How to Do What It Takes When Your Life Is at Stake - Tim Larkin
- Can You Go?: Assessments and Program Design for the Active Athlete and Everybody Else - Dan John
- The Grasshopper Trap - Patrick McManus
- Oathbringer - Brandon Sanderson
- Words of Radiance: The Stormlight Archive, Book 2 - Brandon Sanderson
- The Way of Kings: The Stormlight Archive, Book 1 - Brandon Sanderson
- The Wise Man's Fear: Kingkiller Chronicle, Book 2 - Patrick Rothfuss
- No More Mr. Nice Guy! - Robert A. Glover
- Intervention: Course Corrections for the Athlete and Trainer - Dan John
- How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie
- The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over - Jack Schafer PhD , Ph.D. Marvin Karlins Ph.D.
- The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself - Michael A. Singer
- The Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream - Paulo Coelho
- Side Jobs: Stories from the Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
submitted by BooksAreBelongToUs to audible [link] [comments]
Mafia IV story idea
Note: The particularly important details and music artist names are in
bold text. Licensed music track names are in
italics.
The year is 1973, five years after the events of the Mafia III, and 22 years since Vito Scaletta’s seen or heard from his old friend Joe Barbaro. The canon ending of Mafia III with this Mafia IV story is Vito taking over the city after Lincoln skipped town, however Cassandra and Burke are left alive and loyal to both Vito and Lincoln still. Burke was able to survive his liver cancer by getting a black market liver transplant in Mexico, like he did in his ending, except with Vito running the city. On Vito and Lincoln’s behalf, Burke and Cassandra agree to stay behind in New Bordeaux and keep the city locked down, incase Leo Galante and the Commission try anything.
The beginning cutscene is Vito answering his telephone after getting up in the morning in his new penthouse, on the top floor of the New Bordeaux casino he finished that was once Sal Marcano's, and grabbing a cup of coffee. It's Alma with some urgent news. Lincoln Clay came down to the cigar warehouse to visit her after 5 years of silence, and he has big news.
Joe is alive in Empire Bay and has been this entire time. However, as punishment for his actions, he's become Leo Galante's personal driver against his will and is forbidden from contacting Vito ever again, or else him and Vito will be killed. Alma then tells Vito to meet Lincoln at the airport to learn more, as he's already there awaiting Vito's arrival. When they're away from anyone who could listen in on their conversation, Lincoln tells Vito he has a friend named John Donovan he's going to introduce him to, hiding in the outskirts of Empire Bay, ready to help Vito and Lincoln with their new mission
Vito gets dressed in one of his signature trench coats with a suit and tie, ready to rain down hell on the Vinci crime family and their allies, and finally be reunited with his lifelong friend he previously thought was dead, Joe Barbaro.
Here is my idea for the kill list, all related to the Commission in Empire Bay and their allies.
- Leo Galante - Top target on the list, Vinci family consigliere who's in with the Commission and the man you thought put Joe in the ground for the past 22 years. Bury this wrinkly old cocksucker.
- Johnny Galante - Vinci family capo and younger relative of Leo's mentioned in Cassandra's ending, possibly Leo's cousin even. John Donovan knows that the two are close, and that Johnny's a valuable asset to Leo's organization. Kill him both to hurt Leo's earn and influence, and to hit him straight in the heart by taking away his family and everyone he loves
- Michele Galante Jr. - Another Vinci family capo, and Leo Galante’s youngest brother. Killing Leo’s little brother will both take away one of his most reliable allies, and leave him stricken with grief and enraged, and more prone to making mistakes.
- Nunzio Galante - Leo’s seasoned older brother by 3 years, and yet another Vinci family capo. He knows enough about smuggling that he worked out an ingenious plan for smuggling military grade weapons into the city. He pays off corrupt officials at Empire Bay International Airport, to allow guns to be loaded inside the walls and floors of planes, unknown to everyone onboard save for the palms the Galantes and Frank Vinci have greased to cooperate and keep quiet. The time has come to put this crafty old bastard in the ground.
- Don Frank Vinci - Frank Vinci is the boss of the Vinci crime family, the family Leo's been a consigliere of for decades, and a lifelong friend of his. Kill Frank, and Leo loses more ground than he could ever imagine, and will be forced to deal with both the loss of his boss, and the loss of his lifelong childhood friend.
- Don Ennio Salieri - Longtime close friend of both Frank Vinci and Leo Galante, Don of the Salieri crime family, and a third party Frank and Leo call in to crush Vito's uprising, when it becomes too big of an issue for Vinci alone to handle. Salieri was eventually able to grease enough palms while behind bars to have his life sentence overturned, and he got released from prison on good behavior in 1953, after he served 15 years of his sentence. He’s since relocated to his main operations to Empire Bay, having already had connections and men present there while he was in prison, backed by the Commission and the Vinci crime family. He's seasoned, but he’s nothing Mr. Scaletta can't handle. Give this tired old fuck the gangland ending he's had coming.
- Isaac - Isaac is the personal assistant to an influential loan shark named Bruno Levine, who handles the money of the Commission, including the Vinci crime family and the Salieri crime family. He does anything from serve his boss coffee, to count incoming and outgoing money for Bruno. Because of his duties, he's aware of Bruno's location at all times. You’ll need to get to Isaac to get information on his boss out of him, and dispose of him afterwards if you want to get to Bruno.
- Bruno Levine - Bruno is a Jewish-American loan shark who kicks up all of his earn to both Frank Vinci and Ennio Salieri, and the Commission in Empire Bay. Killing him kills a lot of earn for the Commission, and they loses a valuable asset. In addition to getting rid of him being practical, to add insult to injury, he gave your father that loan. It's about time to put this asshole out of business.
- Mr. Chu & Mr. Chu Jr. - This old man has been leading the Empire Bay Triads with an iron fist since before you were even born. The bastard has a son too, who eventually went on to become his underboss. The Empire Bay Triads became a close ally of the Vinci crime family, the Salieri crime family, and the Commission shortly after Vito killed Don Carlo Falcone in 1951, forming a lucrative partnership with the Commission. Mr. Chu and his eldest son are valuable assets for Leo Galante who give him extra reach. Melt their iron fists and show these two pricks just who they fucked with.
- Eddie Scarpa - This cocksucker used to be Carlo Falcone's underboss for as long as you could remember. After you whacked Falcone in the fall of 1951, he decided to throw in with Vinci to save his own skin. He took over the smuggling and dock union extortion that fat fuck Derek Pappalardo used to run. You know all too well how to deal with this sorry fuckin' rat.
I'm thinking Vito and Joe work with Lincoln Clay and John Donovan to split up Empire Bay and distribute territory to three other factions not unlike what Lincoln did with New Bordeaux. This time though, this is a much larger city in a much, much different part of the United States. The empire building mechanics would be a lot smoother, more robust, and streamlined compared to Mafia III. They would work similarly a more modernized version of how the hit city sandbox game
Scarface: The World Is Yours handled it's empire building and management mechanics, minus the whole switching to other characters lower on the ladder to do your bidding. This would be ideal for a story rich organized crime game in my opinion. Here are my ideas for those factions, all close allies of the up and coming Scaletta crime family.
The Cuban mob led by Alma Diaz. Vito goes way back with Alma, and she does not hesitate to answer him and Lincoln's calls to save Joe's life and royally fuck both Leo Galante and the Vinci family.
Conti crime family, led by Enzo Conti. This Conti crime family formed sometime in late 1968, months after Lincoln helped Enzo flee New Bordeaux and drop off of Sal Marcano's radar. It turns out he fled north to Empire Bay and finally formed his own family, having more than enough years of experience in the underworld to handle the job. Lincoln's tight with him and manages to recruit him to Vito and Joe's cause.
The Yakuza, based out of Empire Bay's Japantown. Longtime sworn enemies of the Empire Bay Triads, with bad blood going back decades. They would greatly enjoy seeing Mr. Chu and his son's heads mounted on pikes, along with whacking everyone who's ever supported their organization. You don't know them well, and they're known to be very unpredictable and ruthless. Use these traits to your advantage when taking on the Commission of Empire Bay and their friends.
I should mention as expected, this entire 1973 section where you play as Vito is much shorter than Mafia III. Vito's takeover is shown much more quickly over time than Lincoln's, and there's time skips during it, to keep it short and sweet, and to show onscreen only what's important. There is also no option for your underbosses to betray you, as to reduce confusion and keep the story consistently the same each playthrough, like the first two Mafia games. However, unlike Mafia III, after all of these tasks are completed and every single assassination target on Vito’s kill list is dealt with, the game does not end. In fact, it's not even anywhere near close to being over yet. Vito's 1973 section was merely the beginning act. It was really a lead up to an entirely new Mafia story, centering around a newcomer to the American mob. Fast forward two years following Vito’s rampage that led to him taking over Empire Bay and the Commission, in the year 1975 him and Joe now rule Empire Bay, with Vito as the Don of the Scaletta Crime Family, and Joe working as his loyal underboss. You play the rest of the game as a young up and coming soldato named Louis in his 20’s, who’s a rising star in Vito’s organization. Do right by Mr. Scaletta and Mr. Barbaro, understand kid?
My basic idea for the character and his backstory is that he's a young Italian-Canadian mobster from Toronto, Ontario, or whatever Mafia's equivalent of it could be called. Let's call him
Louis DeSimone. His family hails from Tuscany in Italy and moved to Toronto, Ontario in 1939, shortly after World War II broke out in Europe. Louis DeSimone was born in July 1952 in Toronto, and was raised in Toronto's Little Italy. Being northern Italian and hailing from Tuscany, Louis has blond hair and green eyes, making him visually very distinct from past series protagonists, who were all dark haired brunets with brown eyes. Louis fled south to Empire Bay when the feds started cracking down on his old family and put his boss in prison, and he ended up finding a new home with the Scaletta crime family. The first few missions playing as Louis DeSimone involve shooting your away out of an arrest by a Toronto Police Service SWAT team in Toronto in December 1974, seeing the rest of the members of your old crime family either get arrested or shot in front of you as you make your escape. You spend the next two missions fleeing Ontario through Quebec and upstate New York, before finally arriving in Empire Bay in early 1975, late January to be exact. Winter is in full force with snow everywhere, Louis' arrival to Empire Bay for the first time in his life mirroring Vito's return to Empire Bay in 1945 30 years earlier, except under far different much more dire circumstances. Louis' older brother and his father, both capos in his old crime family in Toronto, are shown to be arrested by the TPS SWAT team in his first mission, the same one that attempted to gun him down when he resisted arrested. Louis knows someone had to have ratted out his old crime family, and he wants to find out who someday. The thing is though, he doesn't just want to kill them. He wants to get out of them why they did it before he kills them. More than anything else, he just wants to find out why his crime family was betrayed and served up to the feds on a silver platter, having most of his biological family sent to prison in the process. He’s out to uncover the mystery of why his family fell apart, and he’s more than willing to help people like Don Vito Scaletta and his underboss Joe Barbaro to eventually get the answers he seeks. In the end, he’s not even after revenge primarily, more than that, he wants answers and information regarding the fare of his old crime family, and wants to know why his family fell apart. I came up with the idea for this character because I figured that playing as a fugitive from the law made sense for the mob life, and I'm surprised we haven't had a fugitive protagonist in the Mafia series yet.
In the 1975 chapters while playing as Louis, the Watergate scandal, President Richard Nixon’s resignation, and the official end to the Vietnam War are all discussed on the in-game radio during news segments. In the last 1979 chapter, the beginning of the Soviet-Afghan War is also the subject of a news segment on the radio.
The story eventually transitions into the 1980's as years pass, with the scenery, cars, and music changing accordingly, and historical events of the time discussed in the game. In the 1989 section of the game, the murder of the infamous former Sinclair Parish Sheriff Walter “Slim” Beaumont is mentioned on the in-game radio, as just over 21 years ago Slim and his corruption ring were the top headline of national news. the time the game ends, it's 1992, and significant historical events from the past few years at the time that are covered on the radio in-game include anything from the fall of the Berlin Wall, the Gulf War, the collapse of the Soviet Union, to the 1992 L.A. riots. The rise of the internet and home computers are briefly touched upon during news segments on the in-game radio during the early 1990's section of the story, but not greatly delved into given their relative infancy in that time period.
During this entire 1975-1992 stretch of the story, Vito is no longer playable, and Don Scaletta takes a backseat in the story as a main supporting character, similar to Don Salieri throughout Mafia: Definitive Edition. You now play as the Italian-Canadian Scaletta family soldato Louis DeSimone, who is later promoted to being a capo in 1985. At the end of the game in 1992, Louis is promoted to Consigliere of the Scaletta crime family, and it’s revealed in the epilogue that he became the don of the family in 2006 at the age of 54, and his now released from prison older brother serving as his underboss, and and Enzo Conti’s grandson Giovanni Conti serving as consigliere, taking over from Louis’ previous position which before that belonged to his father and Enzo’s only son, Lorenzo Conti from 1973-1992. It is worth noting that unlike Don Salieri, Don Scaletta has much more integrity, and has more genuine loyalty for his men and his associates. If you've beaten Mafia 1 or Mafia: Definitive Edition, you'll know this is something Salieri lacked in the end. Over time, Louis also goes from having a strictly business relationship with Vito and Joe, to bonding with them and becoming a genuinely close friend and trusted member of the family, seeing Vito as something of a second father, and coming to see Joe as the fun uncle he never had. Another major character development theme is Louis DeSimone adapting and assimilating into Italian-American culture in his new home in the Northeastern US, it seeming like something new mixed with the familiar Italian-Canadian culture he was raised in back in Ontario just north of the border.
The game will include a number of hit music from the 70’s that played on the radio back then, such as
Bobby Womack’s
Across 110th Street and
Tony Christie’s
(Is This the Way to) Amarillo,
The Grateful Dead's
Casey Jones and at least a few songs by the then new American rock band
Cheap Trick, as well as popular songs from the 1960’s people still listened to at the time, such as
Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs’
Wooly Bully,
King Crimson’s
21st Century Schizoid Man, Zager and Evans'
In the Year 2525,
The Zombies'
Time of the Season, and
Nancy Sinatra’s
These Boots Are Made for Walkin'. When you progress through the game, especially after you switch to playing as Louis DeAngelo for the rest of the story, years change, and the music changes. Different songs start playing on the radio, such as
Sylvester's
You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real), Randy Crawford's
Street Life, and
The Village People's
Y.M.C.A.,
Cheryl Lynn's
Got to Be Real,
Gloria Gaynor's
I Will Survive, and the
Bee Gees'
Stayin' Alive start playing in the 1979 portion of the game. After you've completed the 1975 section of the game,
Foghat's
Slow Ride starts playing on the radio. Starting in the 1977 section of the game,
Cheap Trick's
I Want You to Want Me and
Heart's
Barracuda start playing on the radio. In the 1980's portion of the game,
Thomas Dolby's songs
Hyperactive! and
She Blinded Me with Science, in addition to
Night Ranger's
Sister Christian also start playing on the radio. If Hangar 13 can afford the licenses, I also think a few
Michael Jackson and
Madonna songs should definitely be on the radio during the 1980's portion of the story, given the immense popularity and regular radio airtime those two had in that decade. If this ended up being possible, I imagine that
Michael Jackson's
Smooth Criminal,
Beat It,
Bad, and
Billie Jean being on the radio in the 80's sections would be a must, Smooth Criminal especially because of how well it suits the series.
Madonna's
Lucky Star,
Burning Up,
Like a Virgin, and
Borderline would also be perfect for the 80's portion of the game to me. Also mentioned by NPCs and civilians in the game are topical events of the time period, such as the release of the groundbreaking 1973 horror film
The Exorcist at the end of Vito's playable portion of the game.
Other music of the 1980's segment when playing as Louis DeAngelo for the remainder of the game includes hits of the era such as
Joe Jackson's
Steppin' Out,
The Buggles'
Video Killed The Radio Star,
Corey Hart's
Sunglasses at Night, Laura Branigan's
Self Control and
Gloria,
The Weather Girls'
It's Raining Men,
A-ha’s
Take On Me,
Men at Work's
Down Under,
Kim Wilde's
Kids in America,
The Gap Band's
You Dropped a Bomb on Me,
Culture Club’s
Karma Chameleon,
Michael Sembello’s
Maniac,
Twisted Sister's
I Wanna Rock and
We're Not Gonna Take It,
Bon Jovi's
Wanted Dead or Alive and
Bad Medicine,
Soft Cell’s
Tainted Love,
Robert Palmer’s
Simply Irresistible,
Rick Astley’s
Together Forever,
Whenever You Need Somebody, and
Never Gonna Give You Up,
Cutting Crew’s
[I Just] Died In Your Arms,
Loverboy's
Working for the Weekend,
Dead or Alive's
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) and
That's the Way (I Like It),
Tiffany’s
I Think We’re Alone Now,
Daryl Hall & John Oates'
Maneater,
Aneka's
Japanese Boy,
Mötley Crüe's
Dr. Feelgood,
Girls, Girls, Girls and
Kickstart My Heart,
Billy Joel's
We Didn't Start the Fire,
Huey Lewis And The News'
Hip To Be Square,
Bill Medley's
(I've Had) The Time of My Life,
The Police's
Every Breath You Take,
Whodini's
Magic's Wand,
Guns ‘N Roses’
Welcome to the Jungle and
Paradise City,
Tears For Fears'
Everybody Wants To Rule The World,
Rockwell's
Somebody's Watching Me,
Regina's
Baby Love,
Nena's
99 Red Balloons,
Earth, Wind, and Fire's
Let's Groove and
September,
Billy Idol's
Eyes Without a Face and
White Wedding,
Rick James’
Give It To Me Baby,
Olivia Newton-John’s
Physical,
The S.O.S. Band’s
Take Your Time (Do It Right),
Kenny Loggins’
Highway to the Danger Zone,
Wham!’s
Everything She Wants,
George Michael's
Careless Whisper,
Toto's
Hold the Line and
Africa,
Blondie's
Heart of Glass and
Atomic, and
Mai Tai's
History.
**Note that not every single year and moment of the 17 year 1975-1992 section playing as Louis DeAngelo is playable or chronicled. My idea is it would be handled similarly to how the time skips in Mafia 1/Mafia: Definitive Edition were handled. Time skips of two or more years, or in this case, even longer such as 4 years sometimes, the game skipping from 1979 to 1983. This is to keep the game and story length ideal, and not risk it getting boring or repetitive, or going on for too long. Repetition was a big problem in Mafia III even if I still thought it was a superb game, so I think it'd be best to learn from that for the next big entry. The games story will skip ahead and show onscreen only what's significant, similar to the first Mafia game and it's remake, as well as certain aspects of Mafia II. Louis starts his section as a 22 year old fugitive soldato who got picked up by another crew south of the Canadian border, and in the epilogue of the game in 1992, is promoted to the consigliere of the Scaletta crime family at the age of 40, being set to take over the family once Vito and Joe become too old to run the day to day on a regular basis. Louis DeSimone is promoted to don of the Scaletta crime family following Vito and Joe being officially retired as of 2006. They’re both still involved and paid huge amounts of money by Louis out of respect, but keep a much lower profile by then since they have handpicked successors and aren’t worried about where the business is going.
The years chronicled in the main gameplay segments are as follows: 1973 1975 1977 1979 1983 1985 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 Much more of the rural areas and countryside outside of Empire Bay are included than what was available in Mafia II. The way rural environments are handled for this hypothetical Mafia IV is akin to how Mafia: Definitive Edition and Mafia III handled their rural environments outside the main cities, except much larger in scale, given the increased power of the current new consoles such as the PS5 and Xbox Series X. This region is based off of upstate New York and the surrounding areas across multiple states in the Northeastern US, and includes forests, fields, mountains, rivers, lakes, beaches, and small towns. Also included are other cities and towns, based off of other large cities in New York like Syracuse, Buffalo, and Rochester, where other story missions, business activities, and side missions take place, along with smaller notable places like Ithaca, Binghamton, and Utica. The entire states of New Jersey, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Delaware, Maryland, and Ohio are also included, including places based off of all of their major cities and most of their notable towns in between. Large portions of Pennsylvania are included as well, including Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, and Scranton. All of the province of Nova Scotia including the city of Halifax, and Large portions of the eastern half of the Canadian province of Ontario are included as well, including cities based off of Toronto, Ottawa, and Niagara Falls. There's even a small portion of Quebec included, including Montreal and the surrounding countryside of the province outside that city, including a few small towns in southern Quebec. The player must pass a quick border patrol check when crossing the US-Canada border in a car or other ground vehicle.
Wildlife is present in the game, mostly to add to the background, scenery, and immersion in rural environments on the map. These are all animals native to the Northeastern US, ranging from white tailed deer, coyotes, bobcats, Canada lynxes, rabbits, hares, groundhogs, gophers, beavers, raccoons, opossums, bats, chipmunks, red and gray squirrels, mice, and rats to more formidable and potentially dangerous animals that may sometimes attack the player, such as grey wolves, black bears, mountain lions, and moose. These last four animals are known to spawn in the mountainous regions, especially in New York, Ohio, Vermont, Massachusetts, and Ontario, including the rural regions based off of the Catskills and the Adirondack mountains. Dogs are present in the cities, towns, and settlements where humans live and keep them as pets, being walked and sometimes found in people's yards. Some are used as guard dogs by enemies and are aggressive towards the player on sight. Domestic cats are also present in the background of residential areas, and both Louis and Vito own them as pets throughout the game in their safe houses, as well as other onscreen characters we see the homes of throughout the game.
Aircraft make their first usable appearance in the Mafia series too, from airplanes to helicopters.
Vito cannot use planes or helicopters in his playable 1973 portion of the game, as he does not know how to pilot, being a paratrooper in World War II who never actually flew any of the planes himself. Aircraft are unlocked to use when Louis DeSimone gets his pilot’s certificate offscreen in 1977, and at the end of a chapter set that year, Louis has to fly Vito in a helicopter to a penthouse in Downtown Empire Bay acting as a family safe house, equipped with a helipad. Louis frequently serves as a personal driver and pilot for both Vito and Joe afterwards, having done a lot in his time serving the family to earn their trust and respect.
Melee weapons also make a return from Mafia: Definitive Edition, with even more variety this time. In their respective sections of the game, Vito and Louis may use anything from baseball bats, pipes, shovels, brass knuckles, golf clubs, police batons, switchblades, kitchen knives, bowie knives, ice picks, 2x4s, claw hammers, crowbars, tire irons, chain links, machetes, meat cleavers, pickaxes, hatchets, sledgehammers, to fire axes. This amount of melee weapons is so no matter what environment the player finds themselves in during a mission or any other game activity, there is usually a weapon of some sort nearby. If the player has obtained piano wire, you may also strangle an enemy to death with it from behind as a stealth kill, this being a classic assassination method infamous for being used by the Italian Mafia. Rope can also be found and used for similar strangulation stealth kills, appearing in the gameplay environments where piano wire can’t be found. There is a wide variety of new guns and explosives to use in this concept for Mafia IV, going with the new weapons of the time the game takes place that criminals quickly got their hands on. This includes the SPAS-12 combat shotgun, the Beretta 92 pistol, the AK-74 assault rifle, the mini uzi, the MAC-10 submachine gun, both suppressed and unsuppressed variants, the Beretta 92 pistol, the Taurus raging bull revolver, Glock handguns, the TEC-9 machine pistol, illegally modified to be full auto, the Ruger Mini-14 full auto variant, and even Vietnam war era flamethrowers, which I think is only natural given that as of Mafia III, we already have RPGs and grenade launchers. Late in the game from the 1989 section and onwards, the Benelli M3 combat shotgun becomes available. The Milkor MGL grenade launcher becomes available beginning in the 1983 portion of the game. Attached grenade launchers are also available for the AK-47, AK-74, and M16 assault rifles. More advanced rocket launchers of the 1970’s and 1980’s are naturally included as well.
Free ride makes a return in Mafia IV, with the player having the options to change the weather, time period, and an option to play as Louis, Vito, Joe, Lincoln, or John Donovan. Naturally, a multitude of new free ride missions are available as well.
I previously posted a much earlier and less detailed draft of this on the old
Mafia3 subreddit 3 years ago back in 2017 as an idea for a hypothetical Mafia 3 expansion where you play as Vito, but have since updated and revamped it to a possible Mafia IV plot, and fixed any plot holes I noticed and made it much more fleshed out and in depth, and focus on more than just Vito in the end. You may view my original here if you so desire, to compare.
https://www.reddit.com/Mafia3/comments/6sldhp/spoiler_mafia_iii_vito_dlc_basic_plot_idea/ Feel free to give me constructive criticism on this, as I encourage this discourse and believe it is integral to growing and improving, to build upon or improve these ideas I've come up with, or say whether or not you think something like this should happen in the future. Thank you for reading!
submitted by RichterTheRatman to MafiaTheGame [link] [comments]
What A Day: GSA It Ain't So by Sarah Lazarus & Crooked Media (11/18/20)
"You're going to play gotcha questions with me?" - Sen. Cory Gardner (R-CO), asked if he thought Joe Biden won the election Don't Wayne On My Parade
Eleven days after the election ended in decisive victory for Joe Biden, Republicans’ continued performance of uncertainty about the outcome is as appalling and dangerous as it is unrelentingly embarrassing.
- On Tuesday, the two Republican members of the Wayne County Board of Canvassers briefly refused to certify the election results in Michigan’s largest county, for a very valid reason that definitely wasn’t “Detroit has a lot of Black voters and we don’t think their votes should count.” (Against all odds, a white man in a polo shirt summed up this stunt best.) The Republicans reversed course on Tuesday night, for a very badass reason that definitely wasn’t “reporters started finding all the racist memes on our Facebook pages.” As a cherry on top, Donald Trump missed the memo and congratulated his would-be coup enablers on their courage, after they had agreed to certify the results.
- His hopes of stealing away Michigan’s electoral votes dashed, Trump has turned to Wisconsin, a state he lost by more than 20,000 votes. The Trump campaign has filed a petition for a recount, but only in Wisconsin’s two largest, most Democratic-leaning counties, for a very solid reason that assuredly wasn’t “we’ve been through this, that’s where all the young and Black voters are.” That partial recount cost the campaign $3 million, but if you can pay Rudy Giuliani $20,000 a day to rattle off conspiracy theories at an exasperated judge, what’s a few million dollars to lose Wisconsin again?
- As profoundly dumb as all of this is, it is also incredibly corrosive. It’s no particular surprise that Trump fired DHS’s cybersecurity director Chris Krebs for the crime of debunking his lies about the election having been stolen from him, but it deserved immediate, unanimous condemnation. Instead, Democratic lawmakers have spoken up, while Republicans, with a few half-hearted exceptions, have sat on their hands. What will it mean for future elections that a defeated president fired an official who safeguarded this election’s integrity and then told the truth about it, and a whole political party said “sure”?
Republicans might be blowing up democracy in slow-motion, but at least most of them aren’t pretending to agonize over it.
- Sources who have spoken to General Services Administrator Emily Murphy say she’s been struggling with her unilateral decision to delay the presidential transition, and feeling like she’s been put “in a very difficult position.” Boy have we got great news for Emily: This one’s actually super simple. There’s no real doubt about who won the election, so you can just go ahead and sign that piece of paper! Get a marketing job and move to Paris! You’re free!
- In the meantime, Joe Biden has been pushing ahead with transition briefings from outside experts. Those briefings have limitations, as advisors outside of the government won’t have the most up-to-date information, and can’t share classified intelligence. The White House has refused to provide even basic coronavirus data to the transition team, and in spite of the lives hanging in the balance if sabotaging the transition creates problems with vaccine distribution, HHS Secretary Alex Azar said the department won’t communicate with the Biden team until the GSA signs off.
Each of Trump’s far-fetched coup maneuvers has flopped, but way too many Republicans have been happy to give them a whirl, and there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t try again in an election with closer margins. Whatever surreal elements of this year we eventually shove down the memory hole for our collective sanity, that fact can’t be one of them.
Look No Further Than The Crooked Media
On today's Keep It stream, Ira, Louis, and Aida discuss Candace Owens and Ben Shapiro's fervor over Harry Styles wearing a dress on the cover of
Vogue: "The hilariousness of 'bring back manly men.' Where do you want them brought?" Watch and subscribe →
youtube.com/crookedmedia Under The Radar
Donald Trump just gave the worst possible job to a former speechwriter who was fired for having white nationalist ties. The White House dismissed Darren Beattie
in 2018 after it came to light that he had spoken at a white-supremacist conference, back when that was something the Trump administration could still be shamed about. Beattie then
took a bunch of taxpayer money from Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), in a violation of House rules. Following that proud interlude, Trump has welcomed Beattie back into the administration fold with
an appointment to the Commission for the Preservation of America’s Heritage Abroad, which was established for the specific purpose of
preserving the memory of Holocaust victims. Sixty-three days until the Inauguration.
What Else?
The official U.S. coronavirus death toll has surpassed 250,000, and more than three million people are estimated to be currently contagious. Doctors on the coronavirus task force warned Vice President Mike Pence that the U.S. could see an average of 2000 deaths a day by Christmas (Scott Atlas was presumably in the bathroom), and urged Pence or Trump to stress the importance of mitigation efforts from the White House podium.
Neither of them has any scheduled plans to do so, but White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany called statewide coronavirus restrictions “Orwellian,” if that’s helpful to anyone?
New York City’s public school system will shut down for in-person learning on Thursday (though bars, restaurants, and gyms are still open, lol), and Gov. Kim Reynolds (R-IA) has joined a growing number of Republican governors in issuing a mask mandate for the first time. All straight out of
Animal Farm.
The FAA has cleared Boeing’s 737 Max to resume flights, 20 months after grounding it following two fatal crashes and roughly 100 years before we will agree to step foot on one.
Trump has ordered the rushed withdrawal of troops from Iraq and Afghanistan, though not the total withdrawal he had campaigned on. According to one administration official, this is part of the White House’s galaxy brain strategy to
light more fires than Biden can put out.
Well, here’s unelected Sen. Kelly Loeffler (R-GA) violating Senate ethics rules by soliciting donations from a federal office building. Let’s
send her home, yes?
Donald Trump was terrified he would be cut in half by lasers at the opening of his Atlantic City casino in 1990, while “Eye of the Tiger” was blasting over the loudspeakers. Just a nice little image to carry close to your heart.
Rockefeller Center’s bummer of a Christmas tree has been widely deemed a metaphor for 2020. The tree’s
resident owl who was just minding his own business before getting dragged into midtown can confirm.
Be Smarter
One of the biggest takeaways from this election has been “Latino voters are not a monolith,” and while much of that analysis has focused on Florida, it’s just as true everywhere else. In Texas, Trump became the first GOP presidential candidate in a century to win Zapata County, which is more than 94 percent Hispanic or Latino. Dissecting the result the requires understanding the specific character of South Texas, where most Spanish-speaking residents self-identify as Tejano. Most consider themselves American above all else, wouldn’t identify as people of color, and have positions on gas and oil, guns, and abortion that are closely aligned with the Republican Party. The Trump campaign recognized and effectively targeted that specific community, and Democrats will need more than generic messaging to win it back.
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Is That Hope I Feel?
A federal judge has blocked the Trump administration’s policy of using the pandemic as an excuse to turn away migrant children seeking asylum at the border. Pfizer now says that its vaccine actually seems to be 95 percent effective, and, implicitly, that Moderna can eat its shorts. Pfizer plans to apply for emergency use authorization from the FDA within days.
The FDA has issued emergency use authorization for the first at-home rapid coronavirus test. Tiara Mack has become the first openly LGBTQ Black person elected to the Rhode Island state Senate, at age 26: “I'm going to be unapologetically Black, I'm going to be unapologetically queer, and I'm going to be unapologetically young, and I'm going to push back against the system that tells us we don't deserve justice now.”
Enjoy
Philip Michaels on Twitter: "This Senate hearing looks like the tale of a marooned lighthouse keeper and the robot butler he built to stave off loneliness."
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What A Day: Give Earpiece A Chance by Sarah Lazarus & Crooked Media (09/29/20)
"I'm part of that community, and we love the man." - Eric Trump momentarily sending the LGBTQ community into deep despair Ear Madness
The tension is palpable, the pundits are abuzz, and Facebook is blanketed with conspiracy theories about Joe Biden’s ear holes: We have arrived at the first 2020 presidential debate.
- The first of three presidential debates will take place in Cleveland, OH, tonight at 9 p.m. ET, moderated by Fox News anchor Chris Wallace. Wallace has selected six general topics: the candidates' records, the Supreme Court, the coronavirus, the economy, race and violence in cities, and election integrity. “Race and violence” plays straight into Donald Trump’s campaign rhetoric, and the total exclusion of climate change seems like malpractice at best, but at least Wallace has also promised not to fact-check any of Trump’s lies.
- Even with the benefit of those outrageous gifts, the Trump team seems, uh, less than confident about his readiness. Following Trump’s repeated attempts to manage expectations by baselessly suggesting that Biden would be on some kind of debate-enhancement drug, the Trump campaign today floated the dumb, recycled rumor that Biden would be wearing a secret earpiece (presumably because his Antifa-controlled brain implant is on the fritz). That conspiracy theory has proliferated unchecked on Facebook, and was even featured on the platform’s news tab. Another beautiful day in Zuckerberg’s Hellworld Funhouse!
- Trump would of course rather talk about drug tests and earpieces than the fact that coronavirus cases are on the rise in half the country, he’s rushing to seat a Supreme Court nominee before the election in the hope that she’ll vote to illegitimately install him as president and/or strike down the Affordable Care Act, and his corrupt tax evasion and vast, mysterious debts are now front page news. That’s all likely to come up tonight anyway (in spite of the Trump campaign’s reported demand that Chris Wallace not utter the number of coronavirus deaths), and Biden and Kamala Harris have each released their 2019 tax returns in anticipation.
“But will the debates even matter this year,” you ask?
- Impossible to know! It’s true that polling has remained incredibly consistent since Biden emerged as the Democratic nominee. Biden heads into the debates with a consistent lead (two new Pennsylvania polls show him nine points ahead there), and if the pandemic, economic crisis, nationwide protests, and DNC Rhode Island Calamari Guy haven’t reshaped the race, it’s hard to imagine that a few debates will have an earth-shattering impact.
- On the other hand, they don’t need to be earth-shattering. Trump has spent his whole campaign trying to paint Biden as a dementia-addled invalid hiding in his basement, and their direct confrontation will provide incontrovertible proof to the contrary. Polls suggest that most voters have already made up their minds, but the ones who haven’t largely don’t know much about Biden’s platform, and the debates are a huge opportunity to inform them.
We’ll have a recap of the night in Wednesday’s What A Day, and you can watch along with us for real-time commentary, fact-checking, and borderline-fireable jokes (if we can keep up with
John Kerry) in
the Crooked Groupthread →
Look No Further Than The Crooked Media
Once more for the people in the back: The first 2020 presidential debate between Joe Biden and Donald Trump is TODAY, September 29th at 9pm Eastern/6pm Pacific. Watch with us live on
https://crooked.com/debate—we’ll be streaming the whole thing along with our Groupthread, where we and other familiar faces from the Crooked Media family will be breaking down what’s happening and giving our live commentary. Watch with us at
https://crooked.com/debate →
Under The Radar
The White House put enormous pressure on the CDC to downplay the risk of sending kids back to school. Trump administration officials, including Dr. Deborah Birx, repeatedly leaned on CDC officials to provide data that could illustrate a decline in cases and low risk of infection or death for school-age children—“a snazzy, easy-to-read document” to back up Trump’s demands that schools reopen before the election. Other members of the coronavirus task force were told to go around the CDC to find alternative data to support the White House’s position. Recent data shows that coronavirus cases, hospitalizations, and deaths have
increased at a faster rate among children and teenagers, and it goes without saying that the Trump administration trying to circumvent science to put kids in danger for political gain should be an unrecoverable scandal.
What Else?
Global coronavirus deaths have surpassed one million, and that wrenching number is still likely a significant undercount.
Kentucky Attorney General David Cameron has agreed to release the grand jury records in Breonna Taylor’s case, after a grand juror filed a motion for their release. Cameron acknowledged that he
never asked the jury to consider homicide charges against the officers.
DNI John Ratcliffe has declassified a Russian intelligence assessment suggesting that Hillary Clinton hatched a plan to tie President Trump to 2016 Russian election interference (a claim the U.S. intelligence community says we have no reason to believe) on the day of a presidential debate. A reminder that Trump’s political appointees, who are supposed to run the federal government, are now spreading election propaganda on his behalf.
New interviews with immigrant women who were pressured into unnecessary surgeries at a Georgia ICE facility revealed awful details about their treatment. In some cases Dr. Mahendra Amin listed symptoms that the women hadn’t experienced or reported in order to justify surgery, even while addressing medical issues that had nothing to do with gynecology.
President Trump mocks his Christian supporters in private, according to former White House aides, and unsurprisingly. Trump reportedly also made this sweet comment to Michael Cohen when he learned that Barron had a playdate with a Jewish girl: “Great, I’m going to lose another one of my kids to your people.”
New York City voters have been receiving absentee ballots with the wrong names and address on the ballot envelopes, which sure seems bad. Those voters
will all be sent a second ballot, along with a letter explaining what happened.
A new study from South Korea found that 90 percent of recovered coronavirus patients reported experiencing lingering side effects. Your periodic reminder that fatality rates, bad as they are, don’t tell the whole story.
Federal Judge Emmett Sullivan suggested he’s not ready to throw out the case against Michael Flynn, during a hearing at which Flynn’s attorney admitted to personally updating Trump and White House lawyers on the case.
New York City’s coronavirus positivity rate has shot up to over three percent, partially as a result of new outbreaks in some Hasidic communities. If the city’s positivity rate stays that high for the next seven days, public schools will automatically close.
Meanwhile, test positivity in Florida, which just flung open all business at full capacity, is now at nearly seven percent. Sarah Palin is jonesing for some attention, if anyone would like to charitably gawk.
Be Smarter
The second installment of the New York Times report on Donald Trump’s tax returns outlines how The Apprentice temporarily rescued Trump from financial ruin. After burning through the cash his father gave him and somehow managing to lose money as a casino owner, Trump netted some $197 million from the show itself, and another $230 million through the various endorsements, hotel deals, and scams he secured through his resulting fame. Trump then borrowed from his more lucrative ventures to buy and prop up his many money-losing golf resorts, at the same time that
Apprentice ratings and his licensing deals were in decline. That brilliant move helped land him in the financial hole where he once again resides, at great risk to our national security.
What A Sponsor
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Is That Hope I Feel?
MIT researchers say the compact fusion reactor they’re building is likely to work, which could be a huge step forward in the fight against climate change.
A federal appeals court has upheld a six-day extension for counting absentee ballots in Wisconsin. Some U.S. Postal Service employees have been quietly resisting Postmaster General Louis DeJoy’s harmful policies. Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA) has signed a law allowing California to develop its own line of affordable generic drugs. Enjoy
Jason on Twitter: "I will donate the remainder of my life income--whatever that may be and to whatever worthy cause--if Chris Wallace just asks Trump to name three novels. Just three! Name three novels. Three long books, you big dumb orange julius bitch"
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Album of the Year #20: Lil B - The Hunchback of BasedGod
(Note: This review exceeds Reddit’s 40,000 character limit for text posts so three additional comments are posted in this thread with the rest of the review. Sorting comments by “old” will bring them up for you in order.) EPISODE I: THE HUNCHED BACK MENACE
Welcome to Old BasedWorld Hurried crowds, sparse synths and ringing cathedral bells in the streets of Old BasedWorld set the scene for our journey. High above the town in the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, a young man with a hunched back dreams of a brighter tomorrow.
Staring Out My Window “The only way you could really feel this pain is from the BasedGod” – From this opening line along with the somber instrumental accompanying it Lil B makes it clear that this project will be different from the hyphy material he’d been releasing since
Black Ken. The BasedGod’s stirring musical backdrop allows Brandon to reminisce on the times he spent as a troubled youth staring out the windows of Old BasedWorld’s Cathedral (as pictured on the album cover), dreaming of a normal life with the rest of the citizens across the bridge in
San Francisco New BasedWorld.
The Many Sides of a Genius Using a compilation of voicemails taken directly from Old BasedWorld’s only working phone, Lil B uses these messages to convey his own message. The people leaving these voicemails were clearly important people in Brandon’s life and, one could say, are some of the “sides of genius” that helped him develop into the man he is today. It continues the album’s narrative of a brilliant soul whose talent and ambition are unnoticed by the outside world, with only those who are closest to him recognizing the genius within.
Ain’t Gon Pick Up One of the people leaving a voicemail on “The Many Sides of a Genius” mentioned how Lil B never picks up his phone, so it’s only appropriate that the next song has B discussing why he chooses not to answer the phone in Old BasedWorld’s Cathedral. It also ties back in to the theme of unrecognized talent, with Brandon stating in the chorus “I ain’t gon pick up, nobody gives a fuck so I don’t give a fuck”. References to stomach pains and Crohn’s disease further highlight how B is feeling “sick to [his] stomach” of being disrespected: by the end of the song, the listener fully understands why Lil B wouldn’t be interested in picking up his phone.
Hunchback of BasedGod One of the album’s great conceptual triumphs. Lil B states from the jump that this song is meant to be a set of instructions for the Hunchback of BasedGod for his eventual descent from his perch back into the town of Old BasedWorld and beyond. It’s still unclear whether or not Lil B himself is the Hunchback, the BasedGod, the Hunchback
of BasedGod, or none of the above: the abstractness allows the listener to form their own perceptions and create their own story. Again, there’s a continuation of themes from the previous songs, with further references to stomach pains and issues of self-worth and meaninglessness coming from Lil B: with so much pain in this world, is it even worth it for the Hunchback to enter society? By the end of the song, Brandon affirms that it is, stating, “Do it and don’t just watch/ Step in the game and have fun/ We all townspeople, we one/”. As such, the Hunchback leaves the cathedral, passing through the cobblestone streets of Old BasedWorld while hushed onlookers stare silently, as he ventures out towards New BasedWorld.
Berkeley San Francisco Its the BasedGod This song is delivered from the perspective of the Hunchback, as revealed in the first line of the first verse: “I got the hunched back from all the depression”. Themes of struggle from the previous tracks reemerge, but you get the sense that the Hunchback is beginning to build up his self-esteem, boasting how he refuses to conform to the looks and expectations of the other townsfolk. He also seems to have gotten past the lack of recognition that was hindering him on “The Many Sides of a Genius” and “Ain’t Gon Pick Up”, as he proudly exclaims, “Who cares if I’m famous?” This gives the Hunchback the confidence to finally travel across the bridge he so often observed from his cathedral window. The townspeople are stunned: the
Golden Gate BasedWorld Bridge had been badly damaged and decayed for decades, with no one daring to cross in the fears that it would collapse. But the Hunchback’s persistence leads him to make it across unscathed.
Outer Mission Music With his feet firmly set in New BasedWorld, the Hunchback visits the colony of Outer Mission, a tight-knit community of New BasedWorld inhabitants who are unsure of how to react to their visitor. Lil B spends much of this track describing his interactions with the colony’s locals, which include Justin Timberlake, Alex Rodriguez, and Lionel Messi as tribe members. He also manages to make the situation surrounding the identities of his disparate personalities even more confusing, stating, “Lil B, I’ve seen him in public/ Is that the Hunchback of BasedGod, or is that the BasedGod? It’s BasedGod/” Will we ever know the difference?
Wake Up Get High Go Back to Sleep In spite of a renewed sense of confidence brought upon by his decision to leave his old life behind, not all is perfect in the Hunchback’s mind. On this joint (pun intended) he harkens back to his days in the cathedral, where he would spend his mornings smoking heavy doses of marijuana in order to numb the pain of his seclusion, often to the point of losing consciousness. It’s also worth noting that the only weed that grows naturally in Old BasedWorld is mids, so the Hunchback would need to smoke a significant amount to achieve the desired effect.
Video Game That I Still Play The irony in the title of this song is that the “video game” the BasedGod is referencing here is in fact a metaphor for his own life’s journey. As he so aptly states during the chorus: “My life is like a video game/ It’s been so weird, but I still play”. The fact of the matter is, Lil B could have chosen to rage quit this game of life long ago, but his perseverance has brought him to a new place of inner peace within the confines of New BasedWorld, even if the townsfolk are still unsure of how to respond to their new neighbor.
I Rather Die Then Go Home At the end of the previous song, the Hunchback makes reference to an incident where he visited the Café Au Coquelet, a boutique restaurant in New BasedWorld. Upon his arrival, he received a similar reaction to those he used to receive in his homeland: “I go to restaurants, people stop smiling”. While some of the townspeople have begun to appreciate his presence, many of the other New BasedWorld residents still recognize his outsider status and continue to shun him as a result. This song is B’s response, with a firm affirmation that he would rather die than have to go back to the life of isolation he led in the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, where he wasn’t really living life to begin with. That said, the song’s mistitling of based comrade The-Dream’s original line of “I’d rather die
than go home” as “I rather die
then go home” leaves the Hunchback’s true intentions up for interpretation.
Crying in the Club After finishing a five-course meal at the boutique, B ventures out to the party district of New BasedWorld, where he surprisingly gets admitted to one of the most exclusive night clubs in the land. As he observes the scene, the crushing reality of the differences between himself and the other clubgoers becomes apparent. A single tear is shed, followed by another, and another, until the BasedGod is in a state of full-blown emotional distress. In spite of his condition, he makes it known that he isn’t ashamed of wearing his heart on his sleeve, openly admitting in the chorus: “I don’t really care if I hurt myself, I don’t really care who sees”. This unyielding display of raw emotion brings the music and dancing to a halt. All eyes are now fixated on the strange being with the tear-stained T-shirt and the disfigured spine. He lets out a desperate plea: “I just want a hug…” To the surprise of the Hunchback, the residents of New BasedWorld collectively embrace him, looking past his outer deformities to recognize the beautiful soul that exists within. Historians would later acknowledge this moment as the primary catalyst for the BasedWorld Revolution™.
EPISODE II: THE COLD WARS
Voyage to Berkeley California Meanwhile, down in the town of Old BasedWorld, the townsfolk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy fake based figures digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the Old BasedWorld Cathedral. Why was the Hunchback not ringing the bells that had kept the evil spirits of the fake based realm out of their lives? It was then they realized that the Hunchback had crossed the sacred bridge and ventured to New BasedWorld. Frantic to reconcile with the gatekeeper they had long taken for granted, a group of the townspeople decide to bravely seek out the BasedGod in the hopes that he will return. However, they recognize that crossing the BasedWorld Bridge is something no mortal man is capable of doing and living to tell the tale. Using a secret map rumored to have been drawn up by Captain 66 himself, a group of citizens board a modest ship to cross the
San Francisco BasedWorld Bay on a warm summer’s eve. Will they survive? Only time will tell.
Across the Sea And here, ladies and gentlemen, we are presented with the greatest plot twist this side of the Fingerpoke of Doom:
It turns out Lil B is not actually the Hunchback and/or the BasedGod after all. Perhaps we should have known all along... Indeed, unbeknownst to the townspeople (who themselves had just assumed all three entities were combined as one person), Lil B has remained in BasedWorld all along in disguise. About halfway into their journey across the Bay, Lil B’s resentment towards his shipmates and their longing for the Hunchback’s return gets the best of him, and the violent persona exhibited on tracks like “Murder Rate” and “Domestic Violence Case” overtakes Lil B’s natural pacifist tendencies. In a fit of rage, he attacks them, “knocking them off the boat” into the shark-infested waters and keeping all of the remaining LifeVests to himself. B himself recognizes the consequences of his actions, ending the song by saying, “This darkness… It’s scary.” Nonetheless, he refuses to be stopped in his mission to visit New BasedWorld and confront the Hunchback all on his own.
Where Is the Potion Having arrived on the shores of New BasedWorld, Lil B ventures into town. Knowing that the only way to find the elusive Hunchback is through the townspeople who may have caught a glimpse of him, he travels to the aforementioned nightclub, with floors still drenched in the BasedGod’s tears from earlier, asking, “Where is the potion?” The response he’s given comes in the form of several bottles of liquor, which quickly dispel any notions of anxiety or self-doubt that may have stopped Lil B from completing his mission. A few of the club’s premium members willingly show him the spots around town where they had spotted the Hunchback, but any further clues of his whereabouts are hard to come by. Before they know it, they find themselves at one of the many riverbanks in New BasedWorld, where a celebration of the BasedGod’s glory is in full swing.
Riverdance This instrumental is what Lil B and the clubgoers heard as they made their way to the bank of the river. Speaking with more of the natives, Lil B learns more of the Hunchback’s travels and experiences in New BasedWorld and begins to put the pieces together in his mind for where the BasedGod may be headed next.
Wolves and Snakes As Lil B continues to plot his course, the BasedGod, who has just finished eating a salad on his way to the colony of Chaddick, senses a disturbance in the Based Force, feeling as though him and his hunched back may be in grave danger. He ponders on the wolves and the snakes that he was forced to deal with in his past life and reflects on the growth he’s experienced since leaving the dreaded, darkened halls of the Cathedral. In spite of this, he can’t help but shake the feeling that, like in the proverbial rear-view mirror, one of these wolves and/or snakes may be closer than they appear…
Meeting on UC Berkeley Campus Today Undeterred, the Hunchback makes his way to UC Berkeley, New BasedWorld’s sole institution of higher learning. After giving a spirited 90 minute lecture on the power of positivity (modeled after previous lectures at such high class institutions as NYU,Carnegie Mellon and Princeton), the BasedGod is greeted by a mass of adoring students at the university. The male students beg for the BasedGod to fuck their bitches, and said bitches are more than willing to oblige. In a grand spectacle, the Hunchback has consensual sex with all 1,000 of the college’s female attendees while this instrumental blares out of speakers across the campus, being awarded with
a trophy as a result of his success.
Artistic or Autistic Elsewhere in New BasedWorld, Lil B attempts to strategize his next move. However, planning the escapade is made difficult thanks to B’s second most potent Internet distraction after his Twitter feed: Reddit. Going through a series of faked based comments on the
hiphopheads subreddit, Lil B is particularly struck by
a comment suggesting that he may in fact be suffering from the neurological disorder autism. The assertion is an eye-opening moment for him: after all, the elevated levels of lead found in Old BasedWorld’s drinking water had been a concern amongst the town’s scientists for years, and his own behaviors and thought patterns seemed to align relatively well with the common symptoms of the condition. After a brief moment of solemnity, Lil B realizes that his immaculate catalog of music has been made possible because of who he is, and if he is autistic, it is an essential component of his artistic output. This song is the result of this revelation.
Free 03 Our story continues as the BasedGod chooses to use his newfound fame and glory to give back to the New BasedWorld community. He begins volunteering at the New BasedWorld Penitentiary, espousing his worldview and giving advice to the inmates on how to make positive contributions to society after they have served their time. One particular inmate catches his eye: a fellow hip hop artist named 03 Greedo, who was arrested a few years earlier in a drug trafficking scheme. The Hunchback’s conversations with the young man have a profound impact on him, and in the weeks and months to come, Greedo becomes the model prisoner for other inmates to aspire to be, with intentions of joining the ministry upon his release. The BasedGod, proud of what he was able to accomplish, promises to dedicate a song on his new 50 song mixtape to Greedo.
Rhode Island Rhode Island, officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, is a state in the New England region of the northeastern United States. It is the smallest U.S. state by area, the seventh least populous, but is also the second most densely populated. Rhode Island is bordered by Connecticut to the west, Massachusetts to the north and east, and the Atlantic Ocean to the south via Rhode Island Sound and Block Island Sound. It also shares a small maritime border with New York. Providence is the state capital and most populous city in Rhode Island.
As Rhode Island is located on the opposite side of the continent from Old and New BasedWorld, it has nothing to do with this story other than this brief mention of its existence.
I’m Depressed Again While the Hunchback is continuing to make great strides in improving the lives of the people in New BasedWorld, he continues to be fazed by an ever-growing sense of something troubling being on the horizon. A dark evil is emerging that he cannot foresee, and he worries that by the time he learns what this evil may be, it will be too late. This sends the BasedGod back into a spiraling depression, one not felt since the last day he had spent alone in the cathedral. He warns his closest confidants of the impending doom, saying, “Real talk… Feel it through your heart. Feel it through the spirit. You can feel it through the dark, cold as ever.”
Café Au Coquelet At the same time as the Hunchback is experiencing this sense of dread, Lil B has made his way to Café Au Coquelet, one of the first spots in New BasedWorld that was graced by the power and the glory of the BasedGod. Lil B immediately detects the Hunchback’s prior presence in the vicinity: all of the restaurant’s guests are acting unusually positive and based towards one another, and the only dish that anyone has ordered over the past week has been the clams casino. Lil B also recognizes that the music playing in the background of the restaurant (the instrumental that is this song) was created by the BasedGod. Enraged, he stands up on the restaurant tables and begins to lambast the townsfolk for having fallen for the lies and deceit of a false prophet. He dictates a new philosophy, beginning by disposing of the food everybody has already ordered and teaching them how to cook for themselves. Before long, the entire restaurant is cooking to “Like a Martian”. A growing sect of New BasedWorld begins to emerge in objection to the Hunchback’s teachings, with Lil B and the swag movement as their new leader.
Downtown Berkeley Protest Back in the colony of Berkeley, the BasedGod is gathering his followers together for a celebration of optimism and goodwill unto others. His new instrumental track plays as the Hunchback’s followers enjoy the festivities. It is at this moment that the BasedGod feels a searing pain encompass his entire being, and he recognizes that this is the moment he has been fearing for the past few weeks: the evil has arrived. A mass of residents from the other New BasedWorld colonies have descended upon the party with torches and handguns. Dressed in pink shirts, tiny pants and Vans sneakers, they march to the center of the crowd in unison, yelling nonsensical phrases such as “Figaro!” and “Martha Stewart!” as the frightened followers of the Hunchback look on. At the front of the mob is the leader, the enigmatic Lil B. He flashes a slight smile at the BasedGod, who stares directly back into the eyes of his former student. As the crowd of pretty residents begin to hurl insults and grievances towards the based residents, Lil B raises one hand, and the noise stops. Then, he begins to walk away. B’s worshipers follow him out of the city square in silent unison. Many of the Hunchback’s flock wonder if this is the end of the madness. However, the BasedGod knows deep down inside that this is just the beginning.
EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE BITCH
Bring the BasedGod and Lil B Gifts This is a Cold War, and we know what each side is fighting for. The New BasedWorld citizens have been divided into an even split, with half of the townsfolk (now calling themselves the “Task Force”) following the ways of the Hunchback and the other half (now calling themselves the “Bitch Mob”) committing themselves to the teachings of Lil B. In a frantic attempt to prove the superiority of one leader over the other, the townspeople begin to bestow luxurious gifts and rewards upon their idols in an attempt to make one appear more grandiose than the other. Lil B relishes in his newfound fame, gladly accepting a plethora of PlayStation 2 and Xbox 360 games from his fans, along with a fully registered copy of FL Studio to allow him to produce beats on the same level as the BasedGod. Meanwhile, on the other side of the village, the Hunchback seems uncomfortable embracing his new role as a worshipped deity. Having become accustomed to people ignoring him or being flat-out disgusted by his appearance, the adjustment to now becoming the leader of thousands of men is one that is not made easily.
Body Shaming The opposing sides of New BasedWorld’s population quickly transition from honoring their respective leaders to creating smear campaigns against the opposition. One of the Bitch Mob’s most talented computer hackers manages to secure nude photographs of the Hunchback and distribute them online, highlighting the embarrassing weight gain that the BasedGod has endured over the past 5 years. The Hunchback is at first distraught upon hearing the news: “Why are they body shaming me? Why would they say all these mean things?” It is only when the BasedGod taps into his creamy center, where all the gooey happy-lovin' goo sits that allows him to be the nicest, most compassionate person he’s ever been, that he’s able to let the world know that he will not fall down so easy. He releases this song on his MySpace as a rebuttal, saying, “There's no reason to bully people and make fun of folks”. The Task Force immediately lauds the song as the perfect response to the scandal, while the Bitch Mob lashes out at the lack of trap drums and celebrity-based adlibs.
Stopped Talkin’ But I Still Rap “So self-conscious, you feel me?”: Despite the approval of his comrades, the BasedGod is unable to shake the ever-persistent sense of self-hatred that is being exacerbated by the actions of the Bitch Mob. He feels his mind regressing to a prior state of fear and insecurity akin to that of his days spent in isolation in the Cathedral. Deep inside, the Hunchback finds himself in the midst of an existential crisis: how can one speak on the benefits of positivity and self-love when one does not truly love thyself? What would the consequences be of allowing this negativity to manifest itself in real time? Surely, an admission of hopelessness would spell defeat for the Task Force, allowing Lil B and his army of pretty townsfolk to rule the land for all eternity. But it would also be hypocritical for the BasedGod to continue to preach the Gospel of Based when his mind is not in a based state of being. In a move that would prove to be one of the most shocking of the Cold War, the Hunchback gathers his followers in the town square to announce that he will be taking an oath of silence until peace can be found between the two factions of New BasedWorld, capping off his decree with the debut of his ‘final’ song, “Stopped Talkin’ But I Still Rap”. The crowd gasps and devolves into hysteria, with thousands pleading for the Hunchback to reconsider, rightly worried over what would become of the based movement without the voice of its sole originator. But the BasedGod is persistent. He silently walks through the crowd, hugging each of his based brethren (and consensually face-fucking some of the females) before departing, possibly for good. Some time after midnight, he successfully crosses the Based Bridge and returns to Old BasedWorld, making his way back to the Cathedral without a single soul noticing his presence. He travels to the deepest, darkest depths of the Cathedral’s caverns, located miles beneath the Earth’s surface, where he begins an indefinite period of contemplation and meditation. This sequence of events would prove to be a milestone of the BasedWorld Revolution™, and would be forever immortalized in
the cover art for the Where Did the Sun Go? mixtape.
Intermission It was a bad time for both Old and New BasedWorld. The Hunchback just stayed inside his Cathedral and he never came out. People said his brain was infected by fake based devils. The Task Force hurt the most of all: without their leader, they crumbled and succumbed to the will of the Bitch Mob. Lil B’s tyrannical rise to power was all but complete. In the months that followed, he would expand his territorial control, conquering the villages of Albany and East Oakland and even sending troops to claim regions of land as far away as Hawaii and Nepal.
Nearly a full year after the disappearance of the BasedGod, Lil B’s armies waged war on Old BasedWorld. The BasedWorld Bridge was destroyed, leaving Lil B and his followers (who controlled the naval fleets) as the only ones who had access to both sides of the territory. After taking most of its citizens hostage and establishing a new structure of government with Lil B at the helm, the Bitch Mob began to formulate its Ultimate
Bitch Plan to capture the Hunchback. One night, they rushed the Old BasedWorld Cathedral, setting it ablaze and burning the once-iconic structure to the ground in the hopes of finding the charred body of the BasedGod buried underneath the rubble. When they failed to retrieve the body, the contingent of pretty boys and girls was ordered by Lil B to venture underground, as an ancient prophecy had foretold the Hunchback’s journey to the center of the Earth. Armed with assault rifles of all varieties, they began their descent into the depths of the caverns.
However, the deeper they traveled, the more they became disillusioned by their actions, and the actions of their once-beloved leader Lil B. They did not realize that the closer they got to the Hunchback, the more they were swayed by his righteousness and his way of being. Soon, they were no more than a few hundred yards from locating the BasedGod. It was at this moment that they had a great awakening, recognizing the error of their ways and freeing themselves from the spell that had been placed on them by Lil B. They abandoned their mission, instead choosing to return to the surface without the Hunchback. Lil B, furious at the group’s reluctance to complete their task, began to chastise his former followers, and prepared to issue one of his infamous curses upon them, one which would result in certain death. Having become completely overwhelmed with the guilt and the shame of their exploits as part of Lil B’s army (and also acknowledging the fact that none of them would ever win an NBA championship now without signing to Golden State), they instead turned the guns Lil B had given to them on themselves, committing mass suicide on top of the remains of the Old BasedWorld Cathedral. Thousands of Old BasedWorld onlookers stared in paralyzing shock as the sound of hundreds of guns discharged at once. What followed was several hours of silence, as Lil B, covered in the blood of his former troops, coldly stared at the mass of dead bodies, trying his best to process what had just taken place.
EPISODE IV: A NEW HO(PE)
The Waterfront West Berkeley at Night Meanwhile, on the other side of the Bay, most of the former Task Force members still remaining in New BasedWorld have all but accepted their fates, purchasing clothing that is too tight for them to wear comfortably and listening to the government-approved
“Cooking Music” playlist on a constant loop. A small contingent of Hunchback loyalists remain, holding private meetings in the basement of the Café Au Coquelet and listening to the
“Based Music” playlist in shrouded secrecy. Upon learning that Lil B and a commission of his troops had left to invade Old BasedWorld, the few remaining Task Force members felt it was safe enough to worship the Hunchback out in the open one last time. As most of the Bitch Mob members who had crossed the BasedWorld Bay with Lil B had come from the village of West Berkeley, the BasedGod’s loyal comrades choose the village’s Waterfront area as the gathering place for the ceremony. Unbeknownst to any of the group’s members, the mass suicides in Old BasedWorld were taking place at the exact same time as the celebration in New BasedWorld was commencing. The Task Force members rejoice, harmoniously singing the BasedGod’s favorite songs of worship: “B.O.R. (Birth of Rap)”, “The Age of Information” and “No Black Person Is Ugly” are belted out towards the heavens. Suddenly, the youngest of the Task Force’s members (who goes by the name of
u/insabnma) feels a twinge underneath his bare feet. He looks down at the ground and notices that he has stepped on a golden USB drive, encrusted with diamonds and embroidered with the word “BASED” in all caps. The curious group of based boys and girls procure a laptop and, upon plugging the drive in, are amazed to find a .zip folder of 13 unreleased instrumentals credited as being produced by the BasedGod. Even more amazingly, the first song is entitled “The Waterfront West Berkeley at Night”: the exact place and time of day that they are performing their ritual. The Task Force members ecstatically listen to the new music, with several being driven to the point of involuntary orgasm. Throughout the night, word spreads throughout New BasedWorld of the drive’s existence, and suddenly, the followers of the Hunchback have a renewed sense of hope.
Games of Berkeley and Magic Cards The next evening, thousands of Task Force members, old and new, join together in the town square of Berkeley, the last place that the Hunchback was seen alive. A Task Force party has commenced, with various games being played and the Based Music playlist blasting from the colony’s speakers. As it is nearing midnight, the townspeople are each given a magic life card, rumored to be the same life cards that were discussed in the BasedGod’s legendary philosophical diatribe [“Life on Earth”](). At the stroke of 12, the second of the BasedGod’s 13 secret instrumentals is played, as the crowd enthusiastically chants “Thank You BasedGod” along to the beat. The expectation is that the Hunchback will hear their prayer and reemerge by the end of the song. However, this was not to be the case: the instrumental ends, with the BasedGod nowhere to be found. For a moment, the Task Force is disheartened, wondering if the signs pointing to a return of the Hunchback were too good to be true. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, a shooting star flies across the Berkeley sky, the brightest and most brilliant star that anyone in the colony has ever seen. It continues to arc across the northwestern skyline and appears to land in the village of Albany, a formerly based territory which has been overrun with members of the Bitch Mob. The Task Force is again filled with a renewed sense of hope at this discovery, as they courageously follow the signs that could lead them to the Hunchback’s holy ascension.
Walking Through Albany California Upon arriving in Albany, the Task Force members notice a contingent of Bitch Mob members huddled around a large crater, approximately one mile in diameter. Evidently, this is where the shooting star had landed. One of the senior members of the tribe is examining the star, which, contrary to its once large and brilliant appearance, has been reduced to the size of a small rock. Several Bitch Mob members now make their way into the crater to examine the fallen star. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the once-dead star explodes into thousands of pieces, each piece shooting out towards the heads of a Bitch Mob member (though some less fortunate members wind up getting hit in the balls). When the star touches each member, it instantly uploads the third of the BasedGod’s secret instrumentals directly into their cerebral cortex. The Bitch Mob members are at first displeased at the lack of poorly mixed 808s and rattling hi-hats, but soon after, they begin to comprehend and enjoy the BasedGod’s alternative production style. Once the song has finished, they have all been converted into full-fledged comrades of the Task Force. The Berkeley delegation of Task Force welcomes their new brothers and sisters into the fold, and the group marches on to spread the word of the Hunchback’s return to the other villages.
The Sound of Being Bullied While this is all occurring in the BasedWorld territories, something else entirely is beginning to unfold in the far away kingdom of Detroit, Michigan. Teejay Witherspoon, the Bitch Mob’s certified rarest hacker, leans back in his chair and slyly grins. His successful exploitation of the BasedGod a year ago has proven to be a major turning point in the young man’s life. His notoriety has allowed him to start a rap career of his own, with several music videos on YouTube having gone viral throughout the past 12 months. His loyalty to the Bitch Mob has been unquestioned, and he has since been promoted to a senior position within the fold. As he clicks his way through a darkweb laundering scheme one evening, he leaves to take a shit and, upon returning to his computer, notices that a mysterious golden USB drive has been plugged into the laptop. Only one file exists on the drive: an audio file entitled “The Sound of Being Bullied.flac”. Teejay curiously loads the file into VLC, and the instant the song begins, he is assaulted with a rush of crushing despair and depression. The title of the song spoke for itself. Teejay is experiencing the totality of the Hunchback’s negative emotions that had been fueled by his prior actions, but even more intensely, and as the emotions begin to amplify, he next notices that his physical being is being affected as well. His body is shaking uncontrollably, his skin is beginning to peel, his eyes are popping out of his skull. After four minutes and seven seconds of agonizing torture, his entire being bursts into flames, unable to handle the power of the BasedGod’s wrath. The song ends.
No Longer Afraid of the Dark It’s dark. The air is still. The ground is hot. Water drips from the ceiling. The Hunchback, in a deep state of reflection, hasn’t moved a muscle for over 12 months. His shriveled body has been starved of nourishment and exercise, but fortunately, his weight gain has had the positive effect of having enough fat stored to keep him alive. The amount of based energy needed to have maintained this state of being has aged the BasedGod considerably. He has been devoid of almost any sense of perception for at least a few months. A faint glow radiates from his being. He has concentrated his powers to what was thought to be an unattainable degree of positivity. Before his extended withdrawal from society, the negative side of the force was something that the Hunchback struggled to put out of mind. At the level of based he now encompasses, the light of positivity is too grand for the BasedGod to fail. He is no longer afraid of the dark. And that’s because the dark no longer exists. The cavern has been filled with his based radiance. And the Hunchback is almost ready to return and spread this radiance throughout the land.
Nepal Wants the BasedGod All across BasedWorld, shooting star sightings have been abound, and thousands upon thousands of Bitch Mob members have been converted to Task Force faithful. Even beyond the traditional confines of BasedWorld, rare star sightings have also been seen in the Bitch Mob’s disparate properties. A star lands in the Bitch Mob’s Nepalian expansion territory. After having its people cleansed with the power of the BasedGod’s sixth secret instrumental track, Nepal adopts a new constitution which entails all of its citizens to embrace the Hunchback’s teachings of optimism and self-love.
Taxi Around Town The streets of Old BasedWorld have been in dire need of repair ever since the Bitch Mob ransacked the colony, but that doesn’t stop Travis, one of the land’s only remaining horse-drawn taxi drivers, from making a buck. One evening, he picks up a mysterious hooded figure in one of the town’s more dangerous districts. The man enters the carriage, greeting the driver with two words: “Hello, Travis.” The driver says nothing. The horses begin their trek through the streets, passing by a row of burning buildings. Travis breaks his silence. “It’s lit,” he says. “The buildings, that is. There’s only a few Bitch Mob members left at this point but they always blow these things up.” The figure feels more comfortable speaking to the driver: “I hear you got the nomination”. It dawns on Travis that this person must be almost exactly one year behind the times: has he ever even
heard of Cardi B? Regardless, he plays along. “Straight up. Won’t be long now.” The figure smiles, quipping, “Well, I hope you win.” He then proceeds to remove his hood. Travis looks back and momentarily gasps. His composure returns soon thereafter. Unsure of how to proceed, he attempts to continue the conversation. “I… I read about you in the papers… How are you?” Knowing he’s referring to the suicides, the figure replies, “Oh, it’s nothing new, I got over that.” They sit in silence for the remainder of the ride. Soon, the horses come upon their destination, the edge of the BasedWorld Bay. The figure gets out of the car. Turning to Travis, he asks, “How much was it?” Travis is nearly speechless. He lets out one final Auto-Tuned “So long………..LA FLAME!” and the horses gallop off.
Berkeley California Before Lil B A massive cleaning project has commenced throughout Berkeley. The townspeople have nearly all been converted to followers of the BasedGod by this point, and in a unanimous vote, the colony’s leaders choose to rid Berkeley of any and all trace of Lil B and his formerly effective propaganda. Murals are whitewashed, statues are torn down, and portraits are removed from public spaces as the eighth of the BasedGod’s 13 secret instrumentals is played on a loop. The many books proclaiming Lil B’s omnipotence are collectively burned to ash in the town square. Even saying the name “Lil B” is punishable by fine of up to $30,000, equivalent to the amount of money Lil B had charged for features (in contrast to the Hunchback’s extremely generous $0.01 minimum fee for a verse). The townspeople are once again a tight-knit unit of based human beings living their best lives. It was just like Berkeley California before Lil B.
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Lost in the Sauce: March 22 - 28
Welcome to
Lost in the Sauce, keeping you caught up on political and legal news that often gets buried in distractions and theater… or a global health crisis.
Figuring out how to divide the COVID-19 content from the “regular” news has been difficult because the pandemic is influencing all aspects of life. Some of the stories below involve the virus, but I chose to include them when it fits into one of the pre-established categories (like congress or immigration). The coronavirus-central post will be made again this Thursday-Friday; the
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House-keeping:
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Let’s dig in!
MAIN COURSE
Congress passes stimulus
Last week started out with a Republican-crafted stimulus bill that was twice-blocked by Senate Democrats, who objected to the lax conditions of aid to corporations, too little funding for hospitals, and a $500 billion “slush fund” for big companies to be doled out by Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin with no oversight.
Conservative-Democrat Joe Manchin (WV) even criticized the GOP bill:
“It fails our first responders, nurses, private physicians and all healthcare professionals. ... It fails our workers. It fails our small businesses… Instead, it is focused on providing billions of dollars to Wall Street and misses the mark on helping the West Virginians that have lost their jobs through no fault of their own.”
Through negotiations, Democrats shifted the bill in a more-worker friendly direction. The version that passed includes the following Democrat-added provisions: expanded unemployment benefits, $100 billion for hospitals, $150 billion for state and local governments, direct payments to Americans without a phase-in (ensuring low-income workers get the full amount), a ban on Trump and his children from receiving aid, and oversight on the “slush fund” (see next section for more info). Senate Democrats also managed to remove a provision that would have excluded nonprofits that receive Medicaid funding from the small-business grants.
- Further reading: After Senate Democrats blocked the Republican-crafted bill, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi led the House Democrats in releasing their own version, a best-case scenario of their dream coronavirus stimulus bill. It is interesting to contrast what the Democrats prioritized to what the Republicans focused on: “How the House Democrats' stimulus plan compares to the Senate's”
Echoing sentiments expressed during debate on the previous coronavirus bill (the second, for those keeping track), Republican senators derided the $600 a week increase in unemployment payments as “incentivizing” workers to quit their jobs. Sens. Ben Sasse (Neb.), Rick Scott (Fla.), Tim Scott (S.C.) and Lindsey Graham (S.C.) delayed passage of the bill in order to force a vote on an amendment removing the extra unemployment funding. "This bill pays you more not to work than if you were working," Graham said. Fortunately for American workers, the amendment failed and the improved bill passed the Senate and the House.
- Note: In 2009 only three Republicans helped Obama pass his stimulus bill in his first month in office.
The giveaways in the bill
While Senate Democrats were able to add worker-friendly provisions, the bill still required bipartisan support to pass the chamber and some corporate giveaways remained in the final version.
- NYT: “Senate Republicans inserted an easy-to-overlook provision on page 203 of the 880-page bill that would permit wealthy investors to use losses generated by real estate to minimize their taxes on profits from things like investments in the stock market. The estimated cost of the change over 10 years is $170 billion.”
- NYT: “...if a company owns multiple hotels, even if the overall hotel or restaurant chain has more than 500 employees — the limit to qualify for treatment as a small business — it will still be able to take advantage of the small-business benefits offered in the rescue package. ...The provision could benefit the Trump Organization, which operates a relatively small chain, with six hotels in the United States in cities including New York, Washington and Chicago.”
Politico:
- “A provision for the FDA to approve ‘innovative’ sunscreens—which would benefit L’Oreal, which has operations in Kentucky—appeared in the bill, which was steered in the Senate by Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky.”
- “The $25 billion allocated in loans and loan guarantees for the airlines will also benefit eligible businesses "approved to perform inspection, repair, replace, or overhaul services, and ticket agents.” The last two words — ‘ticket agents’ — mean that travel agents who book flights will also be able to apply for a piece of the $25 billion.”
- “The credit reporting industry got a win by defeating a total ban on negative credit reports during the crisis. Instead, a watered down version made it into the final bill: Consumers wouldn't get a negative credit report if they have an agreement with a lender to delay payments or make partial payments.”
Trump’s signing statement
While signing the latest coronavirus relief bill, the president also issued a signing statement undercutting the congressional oversight provision creating an inspector general to track how the administration distributes the $500 billion “slush fund” money.
The newly-created inspector general is legally required to audit loans and investments made through the fund and report to Congress his/her findings, including any refusal by the executive office to cooperate. In his signing statement, Trump wrote that his understanding of constitutional powers allows him to gag the special IG:
"I do not understand, and my Administration will not treat, this provision as permitting the [inspector general] to issue reports to the Congress without the presidential supervision required" by Article II of the Constitution.
The signing statement further suggests that Trump does not have to comply with a provision requiring that agencies consult with Congress before it spends or reallocates certain funds: "These provisions are impermissible forms of congressional aggrandizement with respect to the execution of the laws," the statement reads.
While some have said that Congress fell short in this instance, one Democratic Senate aide told Politico that Congress built in multiple layers of oversight, including “a review of other inspectors general and a congressional review committee charged with overseeing Treasury and the Federal Reserve's efforts to implement the law.”
Legal experts have pointed out that a signing statement is “without legal effect.” But that ignores the fact that oversight is not equal to enforcement. The problem, in my opinion, isn’t that Congress won’t be notified of any abuses of power by Trump. The problem is that congressional Republicans and the judiciary have largely failed to hold him accountable and enforce our laws even after learning of his abuses.
Concerns about the IG
Another potential weakness in the oversight structure is the inspector general position itself. The special inspector general for pandemic recovery, known by the acronym S.I.G.P.R., is nominated by the president and confirmed by the Republican-controlled Senate. As we’ve seen from Trump’s previous nominees, particularly judicial, many unqualified individuals have been confirmed. The Democrats will not have the power to stop the president and Mitch McConnell from jamming through a loyalist to fill the SIGPR role.
Former inspector general at the Justice Department Michael Bromwich: “The signing statement threatens to undermine the authority and independence of this new IG. The Senate should extract a commitment from the nominee that Congress will be promptly notified of any Presidential/Administration interference or obstruction.”
You may recall that Trump has already proven that he’s willing to interfere with the legally-mandated work of an inspector general. When the Ukraine whistleblower filed a complaint last year, the IG of the Intelligence Community, Michael Atkinson, investigated and determined the complaint to be “urgent” and “credible.” Atkinson wrote a report and gave it to Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire to hand over to Congress. However, the White House and DOJ interfered and instructed Maguire not to transmit the report to the Senate and House Intelligence Committees. Chairman Adam Schiff had to subpoena Maguire to turn over the report and testify before his committee.
Further, there are already five IG vacancies in agencies that have a critical role in responding to the pandemic. The Treasury itself has not had a permanent, Senate-confirmed IG for over eight months now, and Trump hasn’t nominated a replacement. The Treasury Dept. has taken a lead role in the coronavirus response, with Secretary Mnuchin handling most of the negotiating with Congress on Trump’s behalf. The fact that the lead agency doesn’t have IG oversight should be troublesome in itself; replicating the situation with a special IG doesn’t seem to be a promising solution.
- The other four coronavirus-related agencies without a permanent IG: Department of Health and Human Services’ IG has been vacant for nine months, Department of Defense’s IG has been vacant for four years, Department of Education’s IG has been vacant for one year, and Office of Personnel Management’s IG has been vacant for four years. Overall, there are twelve IG vacancies in the 37) presidentially-appointed offices.
UPDATE: The nation's inspectors general have appointed Glenn Fine, the Pentagon's acting IG, to lead the committee of IGs overseeing the coronavirus relief effort.
This is one of several oversight mechanisms built into the new law. They include:
A committee of IGs (now led by Fine), a new special IG (to be nominated by Trump), a congressional review panel (to be appointed by House/Senate leaders)
Direct payments
Included in the stimulus bill is a $1200 one-time direct payment for all Americans who made less than $75,000 in 2019 (less than $150,000 if couples filed jointly). More details can be found here. I have read that the Treasury will use 2018 information for those who have not filed yet this year, but I am not 100% sure that’ll happen.
Mnuchin has said that Americans can expect to receive the money within three weeks, but many experts expect that timetable to be pushed into late April. Additionally, that only applies to Americans who included direct deposit information on their 2019 tax returns. Those who did not include their bank’s information will have to be sent a physical check in the mail… which could take anywhere from two to four months.
Other options are being discussed, including partnering the Treasury Dept. with MasterCard and Visa to deliver prepaid debit cards. Venmo and Paypal are reportedly lobbying the government to be considered as a disbursement option.
Future payments?
House Speaker Pelosi is already planning another wave of direct payments to Americans, saying that the $1,200 is not enough to mitigate the economic effects of the pandemic: “I don’t think we’ve seen the end of direct payments.” Republicans, meanwhile, are taking a ‘wait and see’ approach, using the next couple of weeks to measure the impact of the $2 trillion bill passed last week.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy: “What concerns me is when I listen to Nancy Pelosi talk about a fourth package now, it’s because she did not get out of things that she really wanted...I’m not sure you need a fourth package...Let’s let this work ... We have now given the resources to make and solve this problem. We don’t need to be crafting another bill right now.”
For the fourth legislative package, Democrats have said they would like to see increased food stamp benefits; increased coverage for coronavirus testing, visits to the doctor and treatment; more money for state and local governments, including Washington, D.C.; expanded family and medical leave; pension fixes; and stronger workplace protections.
Trump’s signature
Normally, a civil servant signs federal checks, like the direct payments Americans are set to receive. According to a Wall Street Journal report, Trump has told people that he wants his signature to appear on the stimulus checks.
THE SIDES
War on the poor continues
Amid the coronavirus crisis, Trump has defended his continued support of a Republican-led lawsuit to dismantle the Affordable Care Act, which would result in 20 million Americans losing health insurance if successful. The Supreme Court agreed to hear arguments in the case this fall. Contrasting with his position that the ACA is illegal, Trump is considering reopening enrollment on HealthCare.gov, allowing millions of uninsured individuals to get coverage before potentially incurring charges and fees related to COVID-19.
Joe Biden called on Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who is leading the charge against the ACA, and President Trump to drop the lawsuit:
“At a time of national emergency, which is laying bare the existing vulnerabilities in our public health infrastructure, it is unconscionable that you are continuing to pursue a lawsuit designed to strip millions of Americans of their health insurance and protections under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), including the ban on insurers denying coverage or raising premiums due to pre-existing conditions.”
The Trump administration is also pushing forward with its plan to kick 700,000 people off federal food stamp assistance, known as SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program). The USDA announced two weeks ago that the department will appeal Judge Beryl Howell’s recent decision that the USDA’s work mandate rule is “arbitrary and capricious."
Additionally: The Social Security Administration has no plans to slow down a rule change set for June that will limit disability benefits, the Department of Health and Human Services still intends to reduce automatic enrollment in health coverage, and the Department of Housing and Urban Development will continue the process to enact a rule that would make it harder for renters to sue landlords for racial discrimination.
Lawmakers’ stock transactions
The Justice Department and Securities and Exchange Commission are beginning to investigate stock transactions made ahead of the economic crisis caused by the coronavirus pandemic. CNN reports that the inquiry has already reached out to Senator Richard Burr for information. “Under insider trading laws, prosecutors would need to prove the lawmakers traded based on material non-public information they received in violation of a duty to keep it confidential,” a task that won’t be easy.
Sen. Burr is facing another consequence of his trades: Alan Jacobson, a shareholder in Wyndham Hotels and Resorts, sued Burr for allegedly using private information to instruct a mass liquidation of his assets. Among the shares he sold were an up to $150,000 stake in Wyndham, whose stock suffered a market-value cut of more than two-thirds since mid-February.
Environmental rollbacks
Using the pandemic as cover, the Trump administration has begun to more aggressively roll back regulations meant to protect the environment. These are examples of what Naomi Klein dubbed “the shock doctrine”: the phenomenon wherein polluters and their government allies push through unpopular policy changes under the smokescreen of a public emergency.
On Thursday, the EPA announced (non-paywalled) an expansive relaxation of environmental laws and fines, exempting companies from consequences for pollution. Under the new rules, there are basically no rules. Companies are asked to “act responsibly” but are not required to report when their facilities discharge pollution into the air or water. Just five days before abandoning any pollution oversight, the oil industry’s largest trade group implored the administration for assistance, stating that social distancing measures caused a steep drop in demand for gasoline.
- Monday morning update: In an interview with Fox News this morning, Trump said he was going to call Putin after the interview to discuss the Saudi-Russia oil fight. A consequence of this "battle" has been plummeting prices in the U.S. making it difficult for domestic companies (like shale extraction) to turn a profit. It's striking that the day after Dr. Fauci told Americans we can expect 100,000 to 200,000 deaths from COVID-19 (if we keep social distancing measures in place), Trump's first action is to talk to Fox News and his second action is to intervene in an international tiff on behalf of the oil and gas industry.
Gina McCarthy, who led the E.P.A. under the Obama administration, called the rollback “an open license to pollute.” Cynthia Giles, who headed the EPA enforcement division during the Obama administration, said “it is so far beyond any reasonable response I am just stunned.”
The EPA is also moving forward with a widely-opposed rule to limit the types of scientific studies used when crafting new regulations or revising current ones. Hidden behind claims of increased transparency, the rule would require disclosure of all raw data used in scientific studies. This would disqualify many fields of research that rely on personal health information from individuals that must be kept confidential. For example, studies that show air pollution causes premature deaths or a certain pesticide is linked to birth defects would be rejected under the proposed rule change.
Officials and scientists are calling upon the EPA to extend the time for comment on the regulatory changes, arguing that the public is unable to express their opinion while dealing with the pandemic.
“These rollbacks need and deserve the input of our public health community, but right now, they are rightfully focused on responding to the coronavirus,” said Representative Frank Pallone of New Jersey, the chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee.
Other controversial decisions being made:
- A former EPA official who worked on controversial policies returned as Administrator Andrew Wheeler’s chief of staff. Mandy Gunasekara helped write regulations to ease pollution controls for coal-fired power plants and vehicle emissions in her previous role as chief of the EPA’s Office of Air and Radiation. In a recent interview, Gunasekara, who played a role in the decision to exit the Paris Climate Accord, pushed back on the more dire predictions of climate change, saying, “I don't think it is catastrophic.”
- NYT: The plastic bag industry, battered by a wave of bans nationwide, is using the coronavirus crisis to try to block laws prohibiting single-use plastic. “We simply don’t want millions of Americans bringing germ-filled reusable bags into retail establishments putting the public and workers at risk,” an industry campaign that goes by the name Bag the Ban warned on Tuesday. (Also see The Guardian)
- Kentucky, South Dakota, and West Virginia passed laws putting new criminal penalties on protests against fossil fuel infrastructure in just the past two weeks.
- The Hill: The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) said Friday that it will extend the amount of time that winter gasoline can be sold this year as producers have been facing lower demand due to the coronavirus. It will allow companies to sell the winter-grade gasoline through May 20, whereas companies would have previously been required to stop selling it by May 1 to protect air quality. “In responding to an international health crisis, the last thing the EPA should do is take steps that will worsen air quality and undermine the public’s health,” biofuels expert David DeGennaro said.
- NYT: At the Interior Department, employees at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service have been under strict orders to complete the rule eliminating some protections for migratory birds within 30 days, according to two people with direct knowledge of the orders. The 45-day comment period on that rule ended on March 19.
- WaPo: The Interior Department has received over 230 nominations for oil and gas leases covering more than 150,000 acres across southern Utah, a push that would bring drilling as close as a half-mile from some of the nation’s most famous protected sites, including Arches and Canyonlands National Parks… if all the fossil fuels buried in those sites was extracted and burned, it would translate into between 1 billion and 5.95 billion metric tons of carbon dioxide being released into the air. That upward measure is equal to half the annual carbon output of China
Court updates
Press freedom case
Southern District of New York District Judge Lorna Schofield ruled that a literary advocacy group’s lawsuit against Trump for allegedly violating the First Amendment can move forward. The group, PEN America, is pursuing claims that Trump “has used government power to retaliate against media coverage and reporters he dislikes.”
Schofield determined that PEN’s allegation that Trump made threats to chill free speech was valid, providing as an example the White House’s revocation of CNN correspondent Jim Acosta’s press press corps credentials:
”The threats are lent credence by the fact that Defendant has acted on them before, by revoking Mr. Acosta’s credentials and barring reporters from particular press conferences. The Press Secretary indeed e-mailed the entire press corps to inform them of new rules of conduct and to warn of further consequences, citing the incident involving Mr. Acosta… These facts plausibly allege that a motivation for defendant’s actions is controlling and punishing speech he dislikes.”
Twitter case
The president suffered another First Amendment defeat last week when the full 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals declined to review a previous ruling that prevents Trump from blocking users on the Twitter account he uses to communicate with the public. Judge Barrington D. Parker, a Nixon-appointee, wrote: “Excluding people from an otherwise public forum such as this by blocking those who express views critical of a public official is, we concluded, unconstitutional.”
Trump-appointees Michael Parker and Richard Sullivan authored a dissent, arguing the free speech “does not include a right to post on other people’s personal social media accounts, even if those other people happen to be public officials.” Park warned that the ruling will allow the social media pages of public officials to be “overrun with harassment, trolling, and hate speech, which officials will be powerless to filter.”
Florida’s felon voting
U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle ripped into Florida Governor Ron DeSantis’s administration for failing to come up with a process to determine which felons are genuinely unable to pay court-ordered fees and fines, which are otherwise required to be paid before having their voting rights restored.
“If the state is not going to fix it, I will,” Hinkle warned. He had given the state five months to come up with an administrative process for felons to prove they’re unable to pay financial obligations, but Florida officials did not do so. The case is set to be heard on April 28 (notwithstanding any coronavirus-related delays).
ICE, Jails, and COVID-19
ICE
One of the most overlooked populations with an increased risk of death from coronavirus are those in detention facilities, which keep people in close quarters with little sanitation or protective measures (including for staff).
Last week, U.S. District Judge Dolly Gee ordered the federal government to “make continuous efforts” to release migrant children from detention centers across the country. Numerous advocacy groups asked for the release after reports that four children being held in New York had tested positive for the virus:
“The threat of irreparable injury to their health and safety is palpable,” the plaintiffs’ lawyers said in their petition… both of the agencies operating migrant children detention facilities must by April 6 provide an accounting of their efforts to release those in custody… “Her order will undoubtedly speed up releases,” said Peter Schey, co-counsel for the plaintiffs in the court case.
On Tuesday, 13 immigrants held at ICE facilities in California filed a lawsuit demanding to be released because their health conditions make them particularly vulnerable to dying if infected by the coronavirus. An ACLU statement says the detainees are “confined in crowded and unsanitary conditions where social distancing is not possible.” The 13 individuals are all over the age of 50 and/or suffering from serious underlying medical issues like high blood pressure.
“From all the evidence we have seen, ICE is failing to fulfill its constitutional obligation to protect the health and safety of individuals in its custody. ICE should exercise its existing discretion to release people with serious medical conditions from detention for humanitarian reasons,” said William Freeman, senior counsel at the ACLU of Northern California.
Meanwhile, ICE is under fire for continuing to shuttle detainees across the country, with one even being forced to take nine different flights bouncing from Louisiana to Texas to New Jersey less than two weeks ago. That man is Dr. Sirous Asgari, a materials science and engineering professor from Iran, who was acquitted last year on federal charges of stealing trade secrets. The government lost its case against him, yet ICE has had him in indefinite detention since November.
Asgari, 59, told the Guardian that his Ice holding facility in Alexandria, Louisiana, had no basic cleaning practices in place and continued to bring in new detainees from across the country with no strategy to minimize the threat of Covid-19...Detainees have no hand sanitizer, and the facility is not regularly cleaning bathrooms or sleeping areas…Detainees lack access to masks… Detainees struggle to stay clean, and the facility has an awful stench.
Jails
State jails are making a better effort to release detained individuals, as both New York and New Jersey ordered a thousand people in each state be let out of jail. The order applied only to low-level offenders sentenced to less than a year in jail and those held on technical probation violations. In Los Angeles County, officials released over 1,700 people from its jails.
A judge in Alabama took similar steps last week, ordering roughly 500 people jailed for minor offenses to be released to lessen crowding in facilities. Unlike in New York and New Jersey, however, local officials reacted in an uproar, led in part by the state executive committee for the Alabama Republican Party and Assistant District Attorney C.J. Robinson. Using angry Facebook messages as the barometer of the community’s feelings, Robinson worked “frantically” to block inmates from being released.
- Reuters: As of Saturday, at least 132 inmates and 104 staff at jails across New York City had tested positive for COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus… Since March 22, jails have reported 226 inmates and 131 staff with confirmed cases of COVID-19, according to a Reuters survey of cities and counties that run America’s 20 largest jails. The numbers are almost certainly an undercount given the fast spread of the virus.
Tribe opposed by Trump loses land
On Wednesday, The Federal Bureau of Indian Affairs announced the Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe’s reservation would be "disestablished" and its land trust status removed. Tribal Chairman Cedric Cromwell called the move "cruel" and "unnecessary,” particularly coming in the midst of a pandemic crisis. Rep. Bill Keating (D-Mass.), who last year introduced legislation to protect the tribe's reservation as trust land in Massachusetts, said the order “is one of the most cruel and nonsensical acts I have seen since coming to Congress.”
The administration’s decision is especially suspicious as just last year Trump attacked the tribe’s plan to build a casino on its land, tweeting that allowing the construction would be “unfair” and treat Native Americans unequally. As a former casino owner, Trump has spent decades attacking Native American casinos as unfair competition. At a 1993 congressional hearing Trump said that tribal owners “don’t look like Indians to me” and claimed: “I might have more Indian blood than a lot of the so-called Indians that are trying to open up the reservations” to gambling.
More than his past history, however, Trump has current interests at play in the Mashpee Wampanoag’s planned casino: it would have competed for business with nearby Rhode Island casinos owned by Twin River Worldwide Holdings, whose president, George Papanier, was a finance executive at the Trump Plaza casino hotel in Atlantic City.
In the Mashpee case, Twin River, the operator of the two Rhode Island casinos, has hired Matthew Schlapp, chairman of the American Conservative Union and a vocal Trump supporter, to lobby for it on the land issue. Schlapp’s wife, Mercedes, is director of strategic communications at the White House.
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rhode island casino age video
Twin River Casino Hotel is located in Lincoln, Rhode Island, and is the largest gaming venue in the entire Ocean State. Its gaming floor spans over 162,000 square feet and houses around 5,000 different games. Smithfield, Rhode Island 25 contributions 7 helpful votes Eat Somewhere Else if You must Gamble The one restaurant - it emphasizes pub food - that is open during the COVID-19 restrictions - pretty bad. Casino Gambling Age in Rhode Island. The minimum age in Rhode Island is 18 years old. This is one of the few states that offers casino gambling so young outside of the Native American casinos. Underage gambling is prohibited and is considered as a crime. If a minor is caught in participation of illegal gambling activities. he could face a fine ... Gambling facilities in Rhode Island: Tiverton Casino Hotel - Tiverton, RI - (401) 475-8474 - 1000 gaming machines Twin River Casino Hotel - Lincoln, RI - (401) 723-3200 - 4100 gaming machines State by state gaming statistics : By visiting this casino, you voluntarily assume all risks related to exposure to COVID-19. 777 Tiverton Casino Blvd, Tiverton, RI 02878-2497 401-816-6000 · [email protected] Rhode Island is one of the few states that allows gambling at 18+ years of age. Online Casinos in Rhode Island Rhode Island does not offer any legal online casino platforms yet. According to the law, online casinos are illegal in Rhode Island, however mobile sports wagering is not. Twin River Casino in Lincoln, Rhode Island, is a full casino with live table games, video slot machines, virtual table games, live entertainment and dining. What Is The Legal Sports Betting Age In Rhode Island? In Rhode Island, the legal sports betting age is 18 years old. Players can bet on sports either at a physical casino sportsbook or with one of the state’s two licensed online sportsbooks, each of which is attached to Rhode Island’s two physical casinos. Both Rhode Island casinos also offer the following table games: Blackjack, Roulette, Baccarat, Three Card Poker, Let It Ride Poker and Spanish 21. The minimum gambling age in Rhode Island is 18. The only Casino in Rhode Island with a hotel is the Tiverton Casino Hotel which has 84 rooms, 32 live table games and about 1,000 gaming machines. Best Rhode Island Online Casino Sites. There are currently no ‘real-money’ online casinos you can bet on in the State of Rhode Island. It might be possible for you to play a range of casino games and slots online in other parts of New England, but for now, the act is prohibited.
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